Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML
Today, I saw a toddler bolt in a parking lot. Since he was running towards the road behind me, I scooped him up to hand off to his mother. She shrieked, snatched him from my hands, and sprayed me with mace. While I was writhing in pain, some punk kid lifted my wallet and phone. FML
Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, I was jogging and was about to pass a woman ahead of me. I called out I was passing so she wouldn’t be scared. She waited till I was right next to her and pepper-sprayed my eyes while screaming, "Rapist." The cops were there in less than 5 minutes, and even though I was blinded, they still handcuffed me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML
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Top comments
_Chocoholic_ 0
What is mace? Like pepper spray? I'm assuming it's not the spiky club I'm thinking of, lol.
SarahB0184 0
Well, I guess you showed your "attacker" lol. I hope the mace was not too bad though. =)
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Comments (200)
Blue_Coconuts 7
If you had a pistol, you'd probably miss anyway if you panic that easy.
nonynony 0
I don't think it's fake. I used to walk at night in the city, and it was always bright enough to have a shadow. When you're feeling a bit paranoid, it's pretty easy to mistake for a person. That said...Why the HELL would you just whip around and spray mace without even checking? Mace is EXTREMELY dangerous and debilitating when it hits you directly in the eyes. You could have maced some random passerby in a hurry--as someone else said, an old lady or a kid! "Better safe than sorry?" Not if you're unlucky enough to be the person walking behind them.
tentenjen 0
#18 has a good point, but if it's in the city, there's a good chance that "in the dark" just meant that it was nighttime. It being a city, there was probably plenty of extra light from headlights, signs, and anything else around, so there still might have been a bit of a shadow.
eitak 0
hahaha to all those people out there who are saying.. what if it was a kid.. or an old lady? Really? If you're one of the only people on the road.. and someones that close to you in the dark when theres plenty of other walking room.. shit I woulda pulled out a bat. You gotta think about the average distance between people.
Osakhomen 0
#59 Unless it's completely dark, there are going to be shadows... It's called a street light.
Kellayy 0
GET PWNED >:D)
x0xGeminix0x 0
ahahah sorry, but you just owned your "attacker"!
theoldGP 0
wait... it says that the wind blew it back into eyes. the OP's eyes? or some random guy's? im inclined to think it was the OP's because it says "back." and i can definitely see someone making a "typo" by forgetting to type my... which really isn't a typo. just stupidity and lack of coordination. but anyways. sucks for you OP.
xRUINERx 0
Ouch I've done that before...but the mace didn't come back at me xD
bman01 0
" The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be" The moment I read this I knew it would be a shadow and when I saw he sprayed it I somehow knew it would spray OP back in the face. Predictable