Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML
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Top comments
fallout125 2
yes minecraft is that awesome
dudeitsdanny 10
Get a vibrator, and turn on some ****. And, word of advice, don't sext a boy you just happen to like. It won't end well. He will either ignore you or turn you down.. Or use you. Very few of us would date a girl we can have, anyways.. And those of us who would are, in majority, part of the ignoring group. Get some class with that vibrator, too. Try not to look so desperate.
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Comments (185)
krissyrawr 0
rejected!
zuczman 0
maaaaahahahahahahahaha! hes a gamer! xD
kendallkbabe7787 0
tell him "rain checks are for pussys, which you will never be getting any of."
gmc_blossom 21
It must be the exploding penis' that made him want to go have a wank afterwards. (I do believe the exploding penis' are called creepers...I'm not sure. My brother calls them exploding penis', so that's what I call them.)
CrazyEminemFan 2
a video game or a girl? hmm thats a difficult decision
akajtm11 0
maybe he's mentally retarded
epicepidural 2
don't mess with a guy and his minecraft.
TheSniperTurtle 1
I find the flame wars in the comments more sad than the FML... Minecraft is probably one of only a few things that a guy would rather do than something sexual, though. :/
emilyissutee 0
toyota is unattractive right now. you look really stupid so way to go.
yopeeps014 0
hes gay