Today, I was trying to seduce a really good-looking girl, when all of a sudden she leaned in towards me and said, “Sorry, I’m not drunk enough to make out with you.“ FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said , "You're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'd be bad for my social reputation." FML
Today, I was making out with this hot girl at a party. She was a bad kisser and I meant to say, "It's like you're 16 and don't know how to kiss" but it came out as, "It's like I'm kissing a 16 year-old." The room fell silent and she got off my lap with a disturbed look on her face. FML
Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I was making out with some girl at a party and noticed that she wasn't very good at it. I tried to say, "You kiss like a 16 year-old doing it for the first time" but ended up saying, "You kiss like a 16 year-old." Upon saying that, a dozen people turned and looked at me, giving weird looks. FML
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Top comments
summer4me 25
Well better luck next time. Maybe try not to be so obvious with your intentions? Or don't take it so personally since you seem to be looking for something casual
jerseygirl94 11
At least she was honest , you'll find a girl who likes you someday and she won't need to be drunk.
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Comments (51)
summer4me 25
Well better luck next time. Maybe try not to be so obvious with your intentions? Or don't take it so personally since you seem to be looking for something casual
vikky538 29
It's better to be obvious than half read intentions
jerseygirl94 11
At least she was honest , you'll find a girl who likes you someday and she won't need to be drunk.
slingerslasher 24
The real issue here is why the last quotation mark in the FML is facing the wrong way.
False_Stupidity 42
Obviously the quotation mark is drunk and can't stand straight. Hey, Perhaps the quotation mark is drunk enough to make out with OP!
Rubly 10
Don't worry OP, you'll find someone who will be sober and will want to make out with you.
mds9986 24
Did you go back when she was more drunk?
lusanna 19
Grab her a pair of beer goggles and ask her again Sorry op, being genuine always win
withered 30
I'm sorry she was so rude to you. My guess is you were chasing way out of your league. Everyone wants partners they're attracted to and looks matter especially when it comes to one night stands. So you can either set standards to reality or try to improve your looks so next time a girl in her league perhaps won't turn you down.
9a_z1 11
But you often see really hot girls going out with less good looking partners so it isn't all about appearances, sometimes it's about common interests and clicking with each other. I suspect this girl sensed that OP was treating her like a conquest and was turned off by it. Maybe he would have done better if he'd paid attention to her instead of just trying to 'seduce' her.
scyth3s 13
Chances are she tried to put him down softly before being rude. Plenty of guys out there think that a "no" is up for debate.
Pointy 12
Not true. I have an "interesting" looking friend who gets all the girls because he's a total player and can hold a conversation like nobodies business. Everyone wants to bang him. Hell, even I do. Looks are just a crutch when you've got nothing else going for you.
withered 30
I said for one night stand. If I were looking for one time sex thing I would look that I find that person attractive. + we all want someone for a partner we're attracted to. Looks DO matter, especially at first glance before you meet someone. And surely those few hours you are looking for fun aren't enough to judge someone by their personality. Besides if (just an example) you put a lot of effort in your body, do sports a lot it's not that you want someone fit just because they look good. It shows they find taking care of body important as you do and that they too are interested in sports. The way someone looks can tell a lot about them.
withered 30
#40 Besides, if looks don't matter why did he go for the "hot chick" instead of "looks really nice with great personality" chick? And it's not like looks really matter to me, I am just annoyed that so many expect that "looks don't matter" should apply only for others while they themselves try to get someone based on their looks.
arano 29
That's when you offer to buy her a drink
MisterEx 28
or 15.
rldostie 19
^^ Because that's not a tad rapey or anything.
egnur_mas 19
"Sorry, I'm not drunk enough to make out with you." Story of my life right here.
RabidTardigrade 6
Maybe she doesn't want to move so quick? Idk, personally I'd like to get to know someone a bit more before jumping into things but maybe she's just a bitch. It's a numbers game!
coltmerriman 15
I mean, at least you tried.