Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML
Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML
Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
They were not amused because you didn't light your fart on fire, it would've given a more explosive start to the presentation.
Sinsation 7
Silence is not so Golden.
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Comments (100)
hunterfisher98 8
That stinks
theneatoburrito 8
Hey, maybe he works for FiberOne.
new_Combray 4
Well at least, you have certainly made an impression on them! They will remember you for a long time! On top of this, you managed your way out of anonymity quite distinctively!
br0ccoli 15
Time to crack a window.
rainbowglass 5
Things could be worse. OP could be in a room with NO window, and underground. Stink has nowhere to go...
redreynard 14
It's always good to open with a joke.
tony1891 22
there goes that raise you hoped for.
noisebox 1
Did that set the tone for your presentation? Did it stink like rotten eggs?
reddudeover 2
Should have put on some shades and said "Blow I out your ass". *Walk about like a pimp.
felah17 6
"Listening'The summer winds', by Frank Sinatra as I write"...Time to clean up the air about it. Tell them that Taco bell does not warn you about the consequences of eating their bean burritos!!!
3rdbass 9
*Insert 3rd variation of a joke 3 people have submitted already here*
Roflsauruz 12
Would be the fourth variation.... No?