Today, I was telling my wife how being told to drink water all day when you're not even thirsty is "such a scam". Suddenly, I felt an excruciating pain in my abdomen. The ER had to give me IV fluids because I was so constipated from dehydration. The bill was over $2000. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received the bill for my trip to the ER months ago. Almost $1000 for a quick 2.5 hour stay, only to find out that I had bad gas from drinking far too much of the seltzer I had bought on sale. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML
Today, I went to the doctor with serious digestive issues, only to be told off the bat that I just need to drink more water. She wasn’t interested to hear that 1) I already drink the recommended daily amount and 2) drinking when I don’t feel like it fucks up my system even worse. FML
Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML
Today, I took my 8 month-old to Urgent Care due to extreme constipation. I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, I went to the company's health clinic to treat muscle spasms and a possible cracked rib. In the process the old quack doc and overly eager nurses wound up giving me a storng laxative and 3 enemas, two of them quite large. Then I still had to return to work. FML
Today, I was tired from an all-nighter I'd pulled because I thought I had the next four days off work. I got called in, and went because I have bills to pay. However, the amount of energy drinks I drank to stay on top of my job duties gave me such bad diarrhea, I had to go home. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Given that humans are 70-80% water (I forget the exact figure), it makes sense that we need to drink some to replenish what we lose. Were you not taught this in school?
jbuckets_404 39
Besides staying hydrated, you also need sufficient daily fiber in your diet to AVOID constipation....
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Comments (32)
prncsjnlca 10
Ya drinking water is a scam. Idiot.
RichardPencil 32
Everything in moderation. Except moderation. You should be a fanatic about moderation! Sounds like you rebelled against the scam of drinking excessive water by going to the other extreme.
Charlie Given 28
You No drinky drinky water you No poopy poopy either 😂🤣😆
blahblabbity 19
should’ve known you were full of shit
dexter420 21
Dude! Seriously? A scam? HILARIOUS!!!😂
dexter420 21
Poor baby cant poop 💩
dexter420 21
Waters ok to drink. Its the constant consumption of air is where they get ya
Gloria DiBlasio_1442619339 4
First, people freak it over Big Pharma. Now, you're worried about Big Water? Seriously?!?
Davros 12
Boy that KY jelly they use on their fingers is cold isn't it.
JamJarBinks 20
By the time you're thirsty you're already dehydrated