Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML
Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML
Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML
Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML
Today, my college instructor told me I hadn't actually failed a big exam as he originally said. It turns out he'd mixed me up with another student. Now thanks to the power of gossip, half my class thinks I slept with him so he'd switch my grade with the other student's. FML
Today, I found out that the reason all my former friends believed a bunch of rumors about me was because the person they were hearing them from was my former roommate. For two years I wondered why they didn't just ask me, now I know it's because they thought if anyone would know the truth, it would be her. UGH. FML
Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML
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Top comments
Dewoe 18
Liar liar pants on fire
prljm10 10
Why would you lie?! Especially around someone that was with you??
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Comments (102)
heartlocked 3
And thats the reason why you dont oversell
RZW 10
Haha! You're my favourite kind of story teller! :)
bobo_the_bear 5
I was totally attacked by Godzilla while I was reading you post. I was able to slay him with the help of my half unicorn / half woman friend. Sorry for the embellishments.
JCRouzer29 27
So which half of this was a lie?
my_user_name 7
On the bright side for the OP, I'm assuming that the part of the FML where he is known as "The Bullshiter" was just an embellishment.
brunbanan 12
I know someone like you and it is so ANNOYING.
tranced_ 45
bullshitters are fun at parties
LittlestV 28
I work with someone who embellishes things ALL the time. It gets to the stage when you don't believe anything he says as you know how much bullshit he comes out with! Not worth it, OP. YDI.
Goblin182 27
Liek I keep telling the Pope, I hate people that lie just to make themselves look impressive.
Cfjla15 6
that's what you get. you totally deserve it. I can't stand it when people do that.