Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML
Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML
Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML
Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML
Today, my college instructor told me I hadn't actually failed a big exam as he originally said. It turns out he'd mixed me up with another student. Now thanks to the power of gossip, half my class thinks I slept with him so he'd switch my grade with the other student's. FML
Today, I found out that the reason all my former friends believed a bunch of rumors about me was because the person they were hearing them from was my former roommate. For two years I wondered why they didn't just ask me, now I know it's because they thought if anyone would know the truth, it would be her. UGH. FML
Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML
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Top comments
Dewoe 18
Liar liar pants on fire
prljm10 10
Why would you lie?! Especially around someone that was with you??
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Comments (102)
czeptoks 8
why lie to your friends!
fffianist 9
For everyone telling OP they deserved it, I once talked to a Standup comic after a show. I asked him how much of his act was actually true and he admitted none of it was. None of it was even based on true stories. The point of his act was to make the audience laugh for a quater of an hour, not engage them in a discussion on the realism of the three-act-structure. Food for thought.
pazuzus_intern 10
That's great but this isn't even close to the same thing and he DID deserve it. Stand up comedians get paid to bullshit, this guy was just being dishonest to people that probably trust him.
fictionaldiary 11
OP's job was not to make his friends laugh. He was not telling a joke, he was telling a story that was not even meant to be funny, just "intense". Nor was he being paid. If comedians went up in front of their family members and told stories that weren't true, they wouldn't get any laughs, just blank stares, because they know that stuff didn't happen. The problem here is that OP got caught in a lie and is now saying "FML", when it is their own fault for telling lies to people who knew the truth.
Lydiaah 4
"why would you lie about something dumb like that? why would you lie about anything at all" Vampire Weekend is always the answer
Lydiaah 4
"why would you lie about something dumb like that? why would you lie about anything at all" Vampire Weekend is always the answer
allliseee 8
Why would you lie to friends, who are clearily not even friends if they don't back up your story.
sonjadus 11
Never let the facts get in the way of a good story!
thelastavailable 13
How can we even trust that this FML is true..?
AsianBomb_xo 10
well, they say honesty it the best policy. :D
4x4kid 7
Most annoying thing in the world is to be called a liar
lolli_12 6
Next time that friend tells a story & lies a little call them out.