Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML
Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML
Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML
Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML
Today, my college instructor told me I hadn't actually failed a big exam as he originally said. It turns out he'd mixed me up with another student. Now thanks to the power of gossip, half my class thinks I slept with him so he'd switch my grade with the other student's. FML
Today, I found out that the reason all my former friends believed a bunch of rumors about me was because the person they were hearing them from was my former roommate. For two years I wondered why they didn't just ask me, now I know it's because they thought if anyone would know the truth, it would be her. UGH. FML
Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML
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Top comments
Dewoe 18
Liar liar pants on fire
prljm10 10
Why would you lie?! Especially around someone that was with you??
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Comments (102)
awilliams44 9
When I was little I used to tell everyone that liars went to hell....
FrankHotpants 31
bullshitting rule #1: ensure no one can verify the accuracy of the content of which you are "embellishing"
Dusty_Busters 15
Translation: I was lying about something I did and someone who was there called me out. Now everyone knows I'm a liar.
sanecatlady 13
I hate lying. I can't say that I never lied but I'm awful at it and when people lie to me to be deceptive or to make something they did sound more dramatic, I can never really trust them again. When I was a kid I believed people who lied would never go to heaven. So it must be a very lonely place with only God, Jesus, and maybe George Washington. Lol?
RenoTheRhino 30
It's Abraham Lincoln. Take more Greek Mythology classes and maybe you'll learn that, you dumb shit!
vdarling 2
Lying sack of s#¡t!!!
AlWAYSN4EVR 13
my sister does this. Its so annoying
RenoTheRhino 30
Change your name legally, get a haircut and dye it, change your wardrobe, whiten your teeth, move to Ecuador, and get a private job for a shady, hysteric guy at a flea market to do some "wet work" in jungles every other Thursday. On the third job, ask your employer for a guy named Elijah. Then repeat these words: "Mr. Orangutan plays catch with Billy Saturday -Tuesday, 10-11 a.m."
jixiekat 14
I knew a girl like that. she has no friends
awkward_cookie 9
I was there too!
biglow223 6
Hey, nothing wrong with a little embellishment. But, if you're doing it while someone is standing there that knows the real story, you have to alter the story a little to make him look like a stud or hero.... He'll agree with everything!