Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML
Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML
Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML
Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML
Today, my college instructor told me I hadn't actually failed a big exam as he originally said. It turns out he'd mixed me up with another student. Now thanks to the power of gossip, half my class thinks I slept with him so he'd switch my grade with the other student's. FML
Today, I found out that the reason all my former friends believed a bunch of rumors about me was because the person they were hearing them from was my former roommate. For two years I wondered why they didn't just ask me, now I know it's because they thought if anyone would know the truth, it would be her. UGH. FML
Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML
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Top comments
Dewoe 18
Liar liar pants on fire
prljm10 10
Why would you lie?! Especially around someone that was with you??
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Comments (102)
xbaumann 8
Lying is never good. It will come back and bite you in the ass.
Sports_guy3 28
Sometimes literally.
Soloman212 28
What kind of hellish lies are you telling that are capable of literally biting your ass??
Stylux_fml 16
#79 Justin Beiber is the best singer in the world. *Prepares butt for inevitable biting*
saraitkddh 47
For every good reason there is to lie, there is a better reason to tell the truth.
8born8 18
For every finger you point, there's three more pointing back at you.
Misshhh 23
If you thought the original story was kind of boring, you could have changed the tone of it but you don't have to add things that never happened. Sure, it's normal to fib a little but don't make it to a point where your friend had to call you out on it.
alycion 39
If I think a story is kind of boring, I usually just don't tell it to a group of friends unless if need be.
Vnzlan_girl 10
You should probably stop bullshitting.
Breegotcake 14
I love how people do bad things like lie, steal, or cheat then come up here for sympathy. No one going to feel sorry for you. You do know you're going to be known as the bullshitter for a while especially if you're in high school. It even might stick to college if you live in a small city & thanks to social media.
fluffywaspluka 7
#19 I love it how people here say “You horrible liar, rot in hell!” when they have done it themselves, and then their excuse is “Oh but I felt really bad afterwards.” Who said OP was expecting sympathy? I come to this website to laugh, not to sympathise with people. Lighten up, dammit.
JVIarijke 24
I guess you deserved this one. I hope it'll teach you not to do that again.
tjw1616 21
sorry op, it sucks how fb puts emphasis on just one instance or mistake and blemishes one's reputation, but seriously dude, just be honest, it's fun telling great stories but nobody likes to be lied to
rainbow0220 2
It really depends on the story weather its appropriate. Seems like few people are good story tellers. I've retold stories where all parties were involved and made it so obvious fantastical that it was historical. To sum it up, its either a bad story he told or his friends lack a sense of humor.
xpokeloverx 6
There is a difference between whether and weather. I suggest you learn the difference before people TD you more
littlexlune 16
Lol stupid ass. That's what you get for trying to be something you aren't. Be real. If the story was that boring to begin with, maybe you shouldn't have told it at all.
yeongji 31
You remind me of someone I went to travel with recently..