Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful job interview. As I was sitting there, I felt the urge to yawn, but before I could raise my hand to cover my mouth some guy stuck his finger in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML
Today, I had my first job interview for eight months. My interviewer noticeably yawned during my reply to the first question. FML
Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML
Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML
Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
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Top comments
Steve95401 49
At least it was just his finger.
Silverfeathery 21
Better hope it was clean
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Comments (70)
JonDoeSamson 3
From Russel Howard's Good New's "Yawn Rape"
purple_duck88 6
My boyfriend does this EVERY time I yawn around him. It's so upsetting.
Zarcissa 34
Like a previous poster said to OP, bite him. If he literally does it everytime, he deserves a good bite. My boyfriend learned his lesson after the second time of doing this exact thing to me. First time I was too shocked to react but second time around I bit his finger. He hasn't put his fingers anywhere near my mouth since, unless he offers me candy or something else to eat.
liz_e_7 11
My teacher did this to a girl in my class... No joke