Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML
Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML
Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML
Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML
Today, I woke up to a cat licking my face. I don't have a cat. I quickly put the cat out the front door and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I remembered that I had agreed to take care of my sister's cat for a week. I looked out the door, but the cat is nowhere to be found. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
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Top comments
inkdeath87 18
Call animal control. But FYL.
maggiefox 25
Sounds like you got a new pet...
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Comments (83)
worldclassrager 41
Good luck finding it...hey you might have a free pet...or make a little money by selling it...
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Cats are amazing how they do that. One showed up under my parents bed. And it still comes and visits to this day. They call him visiting kitty aka VK. Been around for years.
ViviMage 40
Try opening a can of tuna (pet grade) or get some catnip to lure it out. Might want to put bowls of water down. You may not want a cat, but you don't want a dead cat either! And once you do find it, find out if its microchipped. A good owner will spend $40 to chip the pet.
buckdharma 38
I get clawed to pieces Each time I see you again I get clawed to pieces How can I be just your friend
uncrazychica 5
Use the time honored cat catching method. Put cardboard box in the middle if the room and walk away. Cats cannot resist curling up in a box!
martin8337 36
What's so weird, it smells like a cat, but I bet there's no cat.
asylumlane 23
Put out some tuna or treats, he'll come looking for the food and you can catch him.
TheCerealKiller 24
Free attack cat. Now you don't have to worry about burglar's taking your crap.
EmmaMK 35
Just don't go to sleep! Seriously, it's a cat! You probably scared it (more than it scared you). I'm sure you will be able to find it and let it out.
lenehey 7
put out some cat food, OP. You may not see thecat for a few weeks but it woll approach you sooner or later.