Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML
Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML
Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML
Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML
Today, I woke up to a cat licking my face. I don't have a cat. I quickly put the cat out the front door and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I remembered that I had agreed to take care of my sister's cat for a week. I looked out the door, but the cat is nowhere to be found. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
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Top comments
inkdeath87 18
Call animal control. But FYL.
maggiefox 25
Sounds like you got a new pet...
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Comments (83)
suckceed 17
This is why I dont do animals of any kind and get my little sis to check hidden spaces. Not being paranoid, I live in a flat and have had three seperate instances of a fox getting into our home, two of a cat and one of a squirell.
SThompson90 7
Get a dog to get rid of the cat, then get a wolf to get rid of the dog, then get a bear to get rid of the wolf, then get the hell out of your house because there's a damn bear in it.
buckdharma 38
You need a better sense of shelf awareness.
Solipsist 12
I'd be pretty damn excited if I knew at any moment a surprise cat might just pop up out of nowhere!!
YeahBuddy4322 9
At least it isn't a squirrel... Those ******* are crazy
AKarns 2
Wow! you found Narnia!
marramrammar 2
Nothing like hidden Pussy!
Enslaved 38
Hope you cat-ch the purrpatrator.
PaulieXP 16
It coul be Sailcat
DDCA 24
That's one sneaky pussy.