Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML
Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML
Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML
Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML
Today, I woke up to a cat licking my face. I don't have a cat. I quickly put the cat out the front door and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I remembered that I had agreed to take care of my sister's cat for a week. I looked out the door, but the cat is nowhere to be found. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
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Top comments
inkdeath87 18
Call animal control. But FYL.
maggiefox 25
Sounds like you got a new pet...
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Comments (83)
s_reel16 16
Yay.....new pet!
Tali147 16
PHANTOM CAT! Phantom cat is very real! He comes and goes, disappearing without a trace, only to reappear at a later date! Sometimes you can only hear him, but not see him...he's everywhere and nowhere. Beware the phantom cat!
Crofty92 17
I'd keep it, it sounds like it has a lot of personality.
shashh 4
You should put rat poison out
Fuhkyoo 17
yeah that way you will take away the cats food supply and he will leave, that is soooo humane
FlickWaffle 30
dude, he's talking about killing the cat...
skatoolaki 24
Wtf is wrong with you, #18?
mkcherry 14
Somehow a neighborhood stray got into my house (I already have two cats so i think it followed my cats in). i remember finding all three of them eating in the garage and thinking I had lost my mind. Shake some food it should come running and then you can safely trap it. I think if you call animal control they should come get it as well, cat scratches are painful and notoriously nasty (infection, scratch fever, rabies etc) so you shouldn't try to handle it if it seems vicious.
RedPillSucks 33
Stray pussy is the worst pussy
perdix 31
It probably belongs to your boyfriend. Have you already forgotten about his fetish? Reeeeeer!
BoltTheSuperdog 22
Good connection! That one was one of my favorite posts!
FlickWaffle 30
I think you should try putting out flyers, incase it's someone's pet who got lost. I would avoid calling animal control as they'll probably put it straight down. if you can catch it, take it to the vet to see if it's microchipped
perdix 31
Sounds like a... *Lowers sunglasses* sheety situation.
StompinOnCrayons 15
Just don't freak out when you have to clean up little random kitty litter, or when you find it in strange places (ie.under a pillow, in the sink ) xD