Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I was pissing in a bathroom and I tossed my empty energy drink can into the toilet for laughs. The unnecessarily powerful flush sucked it up where it got stuck and caused me to get sprayed with toilet water while I frantically tried to open the stall. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
jonjonguapito 15
I guess you pissed him off
chaseafterwind82 29
Should have pissed on the fly instead.
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Comments (95)
chaseafterwind82 29
Should have pissed on the fly instead.
pinkster2014 25
Maybe he did, and the fly was on the guy...
K_kanaka 26
Piss first, swat fly after.
SubparAtBest 23
how long does it take this guy to piss? Like he couldn't wait a few seconds?
taylorbrown97 23
Guess he doesn't meet the stereotype of nice Canadians.
ItsDutch 16
Can you honestly blame the other guy? You totally deserved it.
Joshawott 21
To be fair, I would have busted your face in if you had pissed on me.
dragkyre 4
Cool charge him with assault
MandieL 27
OP could probably be charged with assault since he made the first move. Pissing on someone could be construed as an act of aggression, trying to claim territory.
milehigh52 22
OP could also be charged with sexual harassment as that can be seen as a sexual crime.
TheDog6 24
You swat the fly. The guy swats you. Circle of life.
Lalala579121 28
But who does the fly swat?
imhope 23
I read that wrong at first! Hahaha thought it said "he busted on my face"?
tbro47 23
Yea, you deserve it. The fly was doing you no harm. If it were a wasp or a bee it would at least be understandable or even a spider crawling up you leg, but you lose control of your stream over a fly? I think any guy would have punched you for peeing on them.
tbro47 23
Your* . I wish they didn't have a time limit for corrections.
Lalala579121 28
What if the fly was crawling up his leg?
worldclassrager 41
Just wave it away until you finish...come on...common sense