Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML
Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML
Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, after a night of vomiting and diarrhea, my family forced me to our beach house for the night. I packed my bag and my mum said she put my bag in the car. We get there where we realize she forgot to put my bag in the car. Not a big deal I thought. Five minutes later I shat and vomited myself. FML
Today, at my godmother's funeral, I got a panic attack causing explosive diarrhea. After the service, I ran to the bathroom and absolutely nuked it. I heard everyone outside calling for me so I quickly flushed the toilet and it struggled. So I flushed again. I left that bathroom with two inches of water on the floor and rising. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
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Top comments
SarcasticUnicorn 9
I hate it when people don't flush. Age shouldn't matter because we were all supposed to be taught since a very young age.
CastielJ 6
lol I thought of Skittles when I read your name..
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Comments (126)
halfbloodprinces_fml 4
She helped you out there, man. :)
Tidus0 17
At least you didn't need your finger or citric acid to bring it up. Always feel better after chucking in my opinion.
Loboman 6
Did you eat any of it?
j_cat187 20
How does someone take a monstrous shit and forget to flush?
Zangetsu67 5
So is mine
TheyCallMeDamien 18
That's called thinking ahead.
jaimereyes2013 5
that's great, i didn't need to eat anything anyways
limegreenpoopie 31
That's why you vomit in the sink.
sophie22_fml 8
That would be pretty disgusting, leaving all that nasty vomit smell in the sink, and then having to clean up your sink, when you can just flush it on the toilet and forget about it.
purplebumblebee 2
Oh. So you found my mess?
Leslier_fml 4
Trashcan! Tie it up, throw it away.