Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving to work, I stopped to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honked their horn, so I drove slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pulled into the car park and noticed the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML
Today, I was driving around a parking lot, looking for an empty spot. Someone was backing out a bit too quickly as I was about to pass by, so I honked to announce myself. The driver instead panicked and reversed into my front bumper. FML
Today, I got stuck in traffic and angrily honked at the car in front of me. Then I realized it was a hearse. FML
Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
Today, I had a “Fuck you” shouting match with a guy who'd tailgated me in the slow lane through an active school zone. I flipped him off when he finally passed, which admittedly wasn’t my best move. He ended up beside me, windows down, where we verbally sparred like teenagers in a dick swinging contest. Regrettably. FML
Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML
Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML
Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML
Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML
Today, while driving home, some idiot kept tailgating me, so I slowed down, hoping he'd overtake me. He didn't, so I pulled to the side of the road. He did the same, in front of me. He kept toying with me until I crashed into another car trying to speed away from him. FML
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Top comments
skyttlz 32
I hate people that double park
Blazingcrono 6
For your sake, I hope he gets a ticket. That shit sucks (the double parking)
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Comments (101)
ILOLatmockdaweek 0
I'd understand the fml of you were in a rush but you just sound like a jerk.
mps1969 8
Just key his car or let the air out of his tires you'll have the last laugh .
dunkme2 4
YDI!!!!!!
the0nut0sack 0
sucks to be you nerdddddddd!!!!!!
rowbot4 0
haha way to go doofus
skyeyez9 25
If there are no security cams in the area, slash his tires and key the car! And don't brag about your deed on FB like some some dumbasses do. Tell no one, and you'll get away with it. muahahaha
yay_knee 3
Well, did you tell him to move? I'm horrible at parking, but I always back out to try to park better (I usually park worse than the first time I did it) so that others can park too. I'm also a horrible driver. I hate slow drivers, I tailgate them on purpose and if they do a brake check, I still tailgate them but I get closer. However, if someone tailgates me I drive slower and then go fast when they try to pass me :-) .
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
And you're proud of your assholery? You'll piss off the wrong person one of these days and pay a hefty price, in money or pain.
yay_knee 3
Well until that day comes I'll still keep doing what I am doing? I'm actually surprised I haven't gotten a ticket yet. But when I do (cause I know I will soon) I am going to frame it and hang it in my wall.
azurajade97 8
You're a dick. I hope someone keys your car.
kittykat1501 31
My mom keeps getting stuck behind you even though she's never hit anyone
victorialynnexo 0
hahaha:) old people are so funny. YDI for being in a rush to no where. its not a big deal to go the speed limit on school campus. slow down speed racer.
sweetjenso 0
Key him
incomple 0
Follow him where ever he goes and keep screaming, "he stole my parking spot!".