Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for work anymore. He said no and went crazy. HR and the police are now involved. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Public freakout
Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML
Today, my boss called me and asked why I haven't been showing up to work. I didn't show up because he fired me last week over the phone. Then he fired me again for not showing up to work. FML
Emergency
Today, I called into work because of a family emergency. My boss was understanding; my coworker? He tore me a new one because his wife wanted him to take the day off, which he didn't because it was going to be a tough day at work. He also threatened to find a way he could get me fired. FML
Where d'you think you're going?
Today, one of my employees was fired for refusing to do a basic job necessity. After the meeting with HR, he left the office and tried to go back to work. FML
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
Today, I told my supervisor how awful my coworker was at her job. I then got fired. FML
I don't wanna…
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Broadcast
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
Reluctant
Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML
Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML
Top comments
ber4fun 23
As far as I know one cannot decline being fired. Mail him his last paycheck and you probably don't have to worry about seeing him again because, if he hasn't been showing up for work he definitely won't now.
MegasaurusRex89 28
Imagine what he'd be like if a girl tried to break up with him... yikes!
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Comments (35)
anarchy_dropzz 11
Think we need a little more info to determine this one... For example, did you give enough warnings etc before firing? There's generally a protocol to be followed in dismissal, just need to know if you followed it or not :)
engineerosaurus 26
Usually, the protocol is that if you don't show up for a certain number of days, you're automatically fired. OP probably was doing the employee a favor by calling.
GamerMom392 19
It's usually 3 days of no-show. It's considered job abandonment, and it was awfully nice of the employer to even bother calling.
mariri9206 32
Also, most states in the US are at will employment states so any employee can actually be fired at any time for no reason unless it was for a discriminatory reason and you can prove that.
nerobluerose 10
You fired him over the phone. Why involve the police, unless he threatened to bomb the place?
Jay18 22
tons of things could've happened to get the police involved
Aylla89 3
@ #2 OP said he went crazy, which could be anything from verbal threats on the phone, to going there in person.
KillerKeemstar 7
Or maybe OP didn't call the poliece, the worker could have during his temper tantrum.
stormy0307 16
That's what I'm wondering.
stormy0307 16
One of my coworkers got fired over the phone and he promptly told my boss to watch his back. (They were on speaker phone and I could hear them through the wall since my desk was next to my boss' office). My boss then told him if he ever sets foot on company property again the police will be called.
ber4fun 23
As far as I know one cannot decline being fired. Mail him his last paycheck and you probably don't have to worry about seeing him again because, if he hasn't been showing up for work he definitely won't now.
VagueEel 13
Most states have laws saying that you can quit at any time and that you can be fired at any time. some states however require business to give a 2 week notice before termination. I'm not sure what the law in ops state is
engineerosaurus 26
No state that I'm aware of REQUIRES notice for termination if you're fired for *cause* (e.g. job abandonment). Notice sometimes has to be given of no-cause terminations (like layoffs), especially ones impacting several employees. JA firings are usually the easiest because the employee is presumed to know they need to work.
texaskitty86 25
VagueEel, I live and work in AZ as an accountant and part of my job is payroll. There is no requirement for warning of a firing. You don't have to give the employee warnings verbal or written before firing if they are violating company policy. My company has in its handbook that 2 days of no call no show is an automatic firing as do most others I know of.
VagueEel 13
I apologize, I misread the article I was reading. Some businesses have clauses in their employment contracts stating that an employee cannot be fired without notice or reason. it's not a state based thing but a contract between the employee and business. sorry about that! but thank you for correcting me, it lead me to do some much more intense research between the relationships of a business and an employee (really, why wasn't this stuff taught in school?)
moocowmilk0 19
Why would he care if he dosent show up anyways?
MegasaurusRex89 28
Imagine what he'd be like if a girl tried to break up with him... yikes!
The_Avatar 22
-hey i think we should break up... **stomps feet like child and makes darth vader noooooooooooooooo!!!*** At least thats how i picture it....
woodmr13 9
That's actually kind of a scary thought
Bam6849 7
Sounds like az workers. Yes I'm in az
texaskitty86 25
This is actually a common issue in AZ. Certain classifications of jobs have so much need to so few workers that the workers will just jump from job to job with no concern for the company, customers, or rules
trucker2 33
Could he be on FMLA ? And you perhaps uninformed ?
GamerMom392 19
Someone with firing power would know if a direct report was on FMLA.
writergirl1029 17
I hope your building has security.
Ultimate_Batman 28
a follow up on this would be an amazing
writerchic85 26
Isn't it illegal to fire someone over the phone?
engineerosaurus 26
No. Most jurisdictions allow default firings for non-attendance. You just terminate and mail the last check, along with separation paperwork.
MofoV 7
How else would you fire someone that doesn't show up?
writerchic85 26
I don't know why I'm getting down voted for a simple question. I always thought you had to talk to them in person.
viipeterson98 14
And people answered. Its not like everyone snapped and you got no answer