Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said, "It's nothing personal." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, I witnessed a homeless man fall off of his bike and land face first onto the pavement. Bleeding and shivering in the 40 degree weather, I gave him the coat off of my back. He got up like nothing happened and sprinted away with it. Oh yeah, my wallet was in the inside pocket. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML
Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML
Today, I got mugged. I almost felt sorry for him: he got a $15 cell phone, a frozen debit card, a credit card with only $50 of credit left on it, and no cash. FML
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Top comments
dawood_k 27
What an asshole... What goes around comes around
buckysam 7
Sounds like it is personal to me. What a douche bag for taking advantage of you because you were hurt. Hopefully he'll learn soon that karma's a bitch and get what's coming to him.
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Comments (50)
Indoow 10
easy target
destructor2014 3
Hey, he just took that guy's wallet! I think he took his wallet... Points if you get the reference... FYL your life OP...:(
gf53 9
BTTF 2?
False_Stupidity 42
Yup, that'd be back to the future 2.
MzZombicidal 36
At least it seems like you got a good look at the douchebag thief! I hope you can easily report the jerk. Get well soon, OP.
randomgirl1234 20
Hope karma pays him back.
stfudonnie 10
sorry about your arm OP, Karma is a bitch and will come back ten fold so don't you worry
martin8337 36
That kind of shit is always personal in my book.
shanebob 15
Too bad you weren't armed. Coulda shot him in the head and said "it's nothing personal"
PresidentNorth 16
or the foot. Murder still pays a heavy price.
CatValintine6151 6
Are you okay did u go to the hospital
HappyItalian 38
That sounds like a slippery slope.
Koroh 2
You shouldn't let that slide.