Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML
Today, and ever since we watched a documentary about televangelists scamming people, my boyfriend randomly imitates them speaking "in tongues" because he knows it freaks me out. He's really good at it as well. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML
Today, I was watching our regular show on Netflix with my boyfriend. I made a remark about one of the male leads having nice abs. My boyfriend is so pathetically insecure that he threw a fit and is refusing to finish the show since he claims I find the actor more attractive than him. FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
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Top comments
Pandasaur 0
If your irrational behavior is comparable to that of a child's on Super Nanny, FY boyfriend's life. Maybe it's his way of telling you to be a bit more mature.
Monado 0
Your boyfriend is such a nice babysitter.
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Comments (118)
Dogman332 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yo bitch im a bitch IM F rag a SUPER TROLLL FBADFHHBHSD AFDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSFHFDSHG FDSFSDHGDSHFSDHGFSDGHAVD HJCFASBFJ BASHGD VFJGFAH FJ HDSGHFDSSSSSDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD BILL GATES FTW! BILL GATES FTW! MACINTOSH BAD WINDOWS GOOD RARE FD ANFNDAS HAJ I WILL EAT EVERY ONE IN THIS ROOM OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNO MNOMNONMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNONMNGJFHGASDH VIUSDDFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY LIFE I HATE MY LIFE FIRST FIRSY YAH IN YO FACE
orchids_torturer 0
mercyFML, i did not heed your warnings. i have learnt the errors of my ways.
Ross_H 0
If the shoe fits...
Dogman332 0
Oh god, sorry about the above comment. I let my friend use my account. God, what a weirdo.
kukopia 0
Ya, rite. It's always 'a friend'
playfuldesk 0
I love juicy cooter
taz1 1
Let me guess; he tries the 'stay in bed' technique when you're not in the mood?
DresdenB17 0
ydi for dating a queer
alsoelp 0
stop being irrational.
poeticpunk77 0
Who cares? Would you rather your boyfriend handle it in another way which could potentially lead to an argument? Props to your boyfriend.
TheElfThatLied 0
You must be pretty annoying, then.
dncroy 0
how come this passed the moderators.. not an fml at all.. today, i sighed, fml!.