Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, my husband and our 4-year-old daughter were watching My Little Pony. When her favorite character angrily screamed, "You're going to love me!", she looked at him with a perplexed look. My husband then responded, "And THAT'S how I met your mommy!" FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
Today, my 5 year-old daughter saw me getting ready to sit down in a fold-out camp chair, and told me, with a big smile on her face, "Daddy, you're too fat to sit in that chair. You'll break it with your big butt." Out of the mouths of babes, I guess. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AFCCT 7
Badass daughter if I say so myself
Welshite 40
She has the makings of a superhero. You should be proud.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (145)
booze_n_bitches 37
That's actually kinda cute. And on the plus side (?) no more children for you to create that might hulk-smash your testicles :)
TheCrispyCat 20
You don't understand.
J_Man42 12
Cute miiiight just be the wrong word haha
jorgevianacr 6
There's nothing cute about having your balls crushed ... But what would know anyway ..
obnum 19
Ack I cringed. So much pain. Get better soon. :(
umang26 4
I'm sure she wasn't as excited about Hulk as much as she was about demonstrating the "Hulk Smash".
thelittlemissy 29
I guess she-hulk don't want brothers and sisters
Dthsapprntc 23
She's a nerd in the making. Quick, fill her room with comicbooks, videogames and Star Trek, Star Wars, Dr. Who and any other sci fi and fantasy dvd's you can think of. We must not let her go to the dark side. And OP, you might want to start wearing some protection, and I don't mean condoms.
AFCCT 7
Steel toe boots?
horneyhic 15
More like a jock
perdix 31
When she grows up, she's going to be a fun date.
luckyme143 13
lol I like the thought of that :)
j_cat187 20
Looks likes she's gonna be an only child.
weveallbeenthere 30
smashing. good thing she didn't have Thor s hammer
nhbasskid13 23
you have raised her well. I would however suggest investing in a jockstrap and cup for protection of any siblings that may want to come along.
darryaz 9
At least she'll know what to do someday when her date gets too hands-on.