Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
Today, I saw a shady looking customer carrying a very suspicious looking baby stroller with a blanket on top of it. Thinking they were shoplifting, I stopped them before they walked out of the store and snatched it. The attachable car seat came off and there really was a baby in there. A real live crying baby. FML
Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we'd passed and I heard her say, "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML
Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML
Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML
Today, I tripped getting on an escalator and instinctively grabbed the nearest person to steady myself. That person was a toddler. The mom screamed, I fell anyway, and the toddler just stared at me like I’d ruined his whole week. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML
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Top comments
crzyry 6
Solution: Paper bag!
captainmarshall1 0
Now that is something I am truely jealous of!
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Comments (146)
cecilia_weasley 0
aw :( I'm the same, they cry when they see me. Apparently babies don't like glasses.
htownlove 0
actually babies love glasses. I have some and babies are always all up on me
yummytacotyrone 0
ydi for being ugly
K0RRuPT 0
Lucky you. Atleast you don't have to make faces to scare your little siblings when they annoy you.
xnty 0
in the hills eyes movie, the baby doesnt scream when it sees that tall mutated freaks' face up close, she just giggles. you must be fugly as hell.
Gladiator127 0
Grow a moustache. Not only will babies stop screaming, but the ladies will love you too.
fmylife245 0
the babies werent scared, ive looked at babies and they scream because someone is looking at them and they like it, they werent smiling either, they just babbled, and pointed at me
anie01 5
Babies are programmed to fear bearded faces (and deep voices incidentally). It's nothing to do with attractiveness. Also, I work at a daycare and some babies simply burst into tears when strangers talk to or even make eye contact with them-- especially if they can't see or feel their own parents. One little girl always looks up at the volunteer holding her right before the massive waterworks start.
cookie_monster2 0
I was thinking the same thing. FAKE
sillychilegirl 0
I squirted pop out of my nose cuz of this!!!! it's hilarious! don't feel too bad, maybe the babies were just looking at a specific part of your face, like your nose or something.
BiH_Sinan 0
Was it the only thing that you, "squirted out"?(:
htownlove 0
who says "pop"? I believe it's soda well at least that's what we call it here in Texas
boatkicker 5
htownlove, you're making an ass out of yourself. It's one thing to correct someone when they are wrong, but it's just stupid to correct someone who is correct. Just because it's called soda where you are, does not make its wrong to call it something else. Soda is the most common name so far as I can tell, in the US. Pop is used a lot more on the west coast, and in Maine. Where I grew up the 70+ crowd calls it tonic, but I'm not sure how widespread that is. There are even some people who call all soda's are Coke, until it needs to be specified. ("We have some Coke in the fridge" but in reality its ginger ale. Or else "we need to buy Coke" and instead they buy orange soda.)
vexis58 1
We don't say pop on the west coast, we say soda. My grandparents in Kansas call it pop, and we all think it's weird.
boatkicker 5
Soda is the most common, everywhere, however, more people on the west coast call it pop, than on the east coast. There are people everywhere who call it pop, and people everywhere who call it soda.
efyurlifeLol 0
hahhahahahahahaha omfg that halrious but I'm guessing all yuh can do is nothjn hahahahahahahaha