Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
Today, I saw a shady looking customer carrying a very suspicious looking baby stroller with a blanket on top of it. Thinking they were shoplifting, I stopped them before they walked out of the store and snatched it. The attachable car seat came off and there really was a baby in there. A real live crying baby. FML
Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we'd passed and I heard her say, "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML
Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML
Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML
Today, I tripped getting on an escalator and instinctively grabbed the nearest person to steady myself. That person was a toddler. The mom screamed, I fell anyway, and the toddler just stared at me like I’d ruined his whole week. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML
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Top comments
crzyry 6
Solution: Paper bag!
captainmarshall1 0
Now that is something I am truely jealous of!
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Comments (146)
amir4444 0
Dang that must suck . having no babies liking u they just think like everyone else
gingersnapper 0
Lol! Do you have a beard? For some reason a lot of babies and toddlers get freaked out by the sight of them.
sweetkraut 2
This is so true. My niece was absolutely terrified at first of my uncle who has a full beard. Babies just go through a phase of stranger anxiety sometimes, and beards can be scary if the kid isn't familiar with with anyone with facial hair.
sexpistol 0
this made me laugh so HARD! best fml ever! haha. do you have many facial piercings? or weird hair? sometimes babies are frightened by that. back in the day, when i was a little jr. high "gawth" i had toddlers at the mall asking their parents if i was a "monster", haha. nowadays babies are just fascinated by me. there's this one little girl in my apartment building who just stops and stares every time i walk by, even if she's in the middle of a tantrum. her mom has to physically pick her up and take her away to break her gaze.
DavidBetancourt 0
Haha, this FML was made by my older brother. We were sitting down in a clothing store while our mother was looking around the store for clothes. One chinese lady had to put the baby in her stroller while she was adjusting the bags in her hands(she had like 5 or 6). While the baby was in the stroller, the baby looked at him, gasped, looked away, and then a few seconds later, looked at him again and screamed. It wa hilarious! Then, when another lady was checking out of the store, she put her child near us for a second while she payed, and when the child saw him, the child screamed! It was so funny! I can't believe it actually made it on FML, though. XD Anyway, he has no facial piercings, tattoos, or anything like that. He's only 15 and our parents are VERY stict about those things. It's just his hideous face at work again!(jk) But I really can't believe this made it on here!
Hanban 0
Give yourselves a pat on the back.
kekola 0
whoa
mugiwara_fml 0
You should change your toothpaste, if you're using one that is.
Alli121 0
I read this in the middle of a computer class while i was supposed to be writing my reportn and started laughing so hard i fell out of my chair, the teacher came over to see what was so funny and he said I love fml, it's soo funny, then walked away. I thought I was gonna get kicked out of class.
raju618 0
u need plastic surgery it worked for me
shazam22 0
you're horrible. You should have been thinking of the children before you entered that store.
HeySoulSista 0
Don't worry. My best friend's nephew was at her house one night while I was staying over, and she, her 5 sisters, her mom, hey step-dad, and I were all in a circle around him, he took one long look at me, then screamed and cried for 45 minutes. My niece feels the same way about me, too.