Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
Today, I saw a shady looking customer carrying a very suspicious looking baby stroller with a blanket on top of it. Thinking they were shoplifting, I stopped them before they walked out of the store and snatched it. The attachable car seat came off and there really was a baby in there. A real live crying baby. FML
Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we'd passed and I heard her say, "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML
Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML
Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML
Today, I tripped getting on an escalator and instinctively grabbed the nearest person to steady myself. That person was a toddler. The mom screamed, I fell anyway, and the toddler just stared at me like I’d ruined his whole week. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, I was working as a character at an amusement park. I was walking with another character and we went over to a baby girl. She smiled and laughed at my co-worker. When she saw me, she started screaming and crying. FML
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Top comments
crzyry 6
Solution: Paper bag!
captainmarshall1 0
Now that is something I am truely jealous of!
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Comments (146)
michael666 7
how is tht an fml, I wud love to have tht face, I love dead baby jokes, how many babies does it take to paint a house red? depends on how hard u throw them! just absolutely hilarious
greekgal44 14
last.
CaptainAwesome2 0
Since when do babies scream?
baowoww 0
buddy, i have the same issue hahaha(:
helanagrace 0
haha I have to admit that that's pretty funny. I laughed.
hebron77 0
Don't sweat it, alot of babies scare easily. My cousin will start crying sometimes if I'm looking at her and not smiling.
totallyepicchick 0
CAUTION Keep out of reach of children under the age of 3
doglover100 29
Babies usually don't like people other than their parents looking at them. My face scares little kids.
ImTheAlpha 30
Babies love me. Which is odd because most would describe me in appearance as a "scary goth chick that children and the elderly need to stay away from". I can't complain, though. It's adorable to see a baby turn around, look at you, and then smile and giggle happily.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
The same thing happens to me! People generally don't want me around their kids because of my gothic style (somehow it's "dangerous") but I guess I'm one of those people who attracts the unders 5's like flies.
kaedynsmom0325 13
I'm sorry.. But I definitely laughed my ass off reading this..!!