Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my crush fell asleep on me on the bus. This would have been fantastic if I didn't immediately have an erection in her ear. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML
Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a cute girl I didn't know. She fell asleep on my lap by accident and I just let her for the whole train ride. This is the closest I've ever been with a woman. FML
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML
Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
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Top comments
gogokira 5
gross bro
mintcar 10
Wow...how'd you explain that one?
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Comments (584)
mrmerino 0
oh my god, man. that must be terrible
GetChiZZedoN 0
yum
houstontxmex 0
hehe, looks like Peter wanted to meet her. you should have just told her to put it in her mouth like a pacifier and go back to sleep. :)
WillDaBeast83 0
how long did it take for you to think of that one?
houstontxmex 0
about the same amount of time it took for your mom to wake up after that dude put his pickle in her pie hole. :)
brandonjd 0
lol man
tnglator 4
at least she didnt wake up with it in her ass..
mismonroe 0
It's always a good day when your ass wakes up dickless.
superjay28 0
learn to controll ur self
iHateThisLife 10
u should have thought of someone butt ugly.
shoopd 19
98 - Oh yeah! Definitely! Instead of having her head rest on his erection, OP totally should have whipped it out and thrown a rubber band on it. You are the reason why they put warnings like "Do not use on genitals" on chainsaws, aren't you?
justalilrandom2 4
Then get gangrene and have to have it removed, sounds like a plan 98.
crzymxican 0
hahahahahahahahahahaha fyl!!