Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Sorry, I didn't mean…
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML
Keep your distance
Today, as I served an elderly man at the fast-food restaurant where I work, he leaned over the counter so that his face was mere inches from mine and asked me if I wanted to buy his car. When I politely told him I wasn't interested, he insisted on making a complaint about me to my manager. FML
Today, the person that interviewed me for a job was the same person I called a "fat bitch" at a baseball game after she knocked over my drink while she was dancing. She recognized me too. FML
Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML
I'm a loser, baby
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Is negging still a thing?
Today, while I was reading in a park, a drunk bum started talking to me. After a few minutes of awkward conversation, he said, "You're really pretty, and you have nice eyes, but you have chubby cheeks. What's up with that? Did you eat a lot of peanuts when you were a kid or something?" FML
Sting
Today, when I went to the gas station to buy beer, some underage punk outside asked me to buy him booze. I told him to get bent, but the dumbass cashier had seen me talking to him, and refused to let me buy alcohol because, "This is obviously a sting." FML
Red state
Today, a customer at the fast-food joint I work at gave me a pitying look and asked, "How's that liberal arts degree treating ya?" FML
Top comments
TheEpicScrewup 0
Three solutions to this: 1) Wait until he takes a good long sip, and then say, "You really shouldn't be so rude to people handling your drinks. Does that taste funny to you?" 2) Before you even hand it to him, throw it in his face. You may get fired, but at least that guy got what he deserved. 3) If he's not good looking himself, say "No, but I'm sure you know how that is, huh? Did someone have rough high school days, hmmm?" I would go with number 1. Just saying. But dude that sucks. That guy is a condecending douche.
slyvanilla_creme 0
a complete stranger just upped and said that to you? wow...some people have to learn that if they have nothing nice to say, they really shouldn't say anything at all....i would have told him to take the log out of his own eye before judging me...
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Comments (55)
Guyoverhere 0
Shouda "accidentily" spilt ice tea all over him
tblack147 0
Well noticing the word choice you have you must really leave yourself open to negatative subjection, still they have no right to talk like that to you and if you didn't defend yourself then you kinda deserved it. If that be the case then you need to grow a back bone
BigSky182 0
I can't help but notice that you didn't answer.....
futtgoredo 0
lol
erikjh1234 0
spit in his iced tea or pick your nose and flick it in when he's not looking...I work food handling and let me tell you...the shows and tje movies DONT LIE!!! NEVER MESS WITH WHOEVER IS HANDLING YOUR FOOD!! =]
changesinme 0
maybe it's time to look at the mirror and lose some weight unless you don't give a shit then you shouldn't be bothered what people say about you
kykyred 10
u could always put the effort into loosing weight and make your voice deeper , girls don't like a guy with a higher voice than them :D
Kellycblue 0
good for you for using words that aren't in these idiots vocabulary. that sucks though.
leahtastic 0
that's sad :( lots of girls like big guys though :3
evebright 5
And did this cause you to "flinch" and accidentally dump the rest of the pitcher in his lap, and then (the pitcher) slips out of your hand and whack him upside the head hard enough they called an ambulance? Poor man!