Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML
Today, as I served an elderly man at the fast-food restaurant where I work, he leaned over the counter so that his face was mere inches from mine and asked me if I wanted to buy his car. When I politely told him I wasn't interested, he insisted on making a complaint about me to my manager. FML
Today, the person that interviewed me for a job was the same person I called a "fat bitch" at a baseball game after she knocked over my drink while she was dancing. She recognized me too. FML
Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Today, while I was reading in a park, a drunk bum started talking to me. After a few minutes of awkward conversation, he said, "You're really pretty, and you have nice eyes, but you have chubby cheeks. What's up with that? Did you eat a lot of peanuts when you were a kid or something?" FML
Today, when I went to the gas station to buy beer, some underage punk outside asked me to buy him booze. I told him to get bent, but the dumbass cashier had seen me talking to him, and refused to let me buy alcohol because, "This is obviously a sting." FML
Today, a customer at the fast-food joint I work at gave me a pitying look and asked, "How's that liberal arts degree treating ya?" FML
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Top comments
TheEpicScrewup 0
Three solutions to this: 1) Wait until he takes a good long sip, and then say, "You really shouldn't be so rude to people handling your drinks. Does that taste funny to you?" 2) Before you even hand it to him, throw it in his face. You may get fired, but at least that guy got what he deserved. 3) If he's not good looking himself, say "No, but I'm sure you know how that is, huh? Did someone have rough high school days, hmmm?" I would go with number 1. Just saying. But dude that sucks. That guy is a condecending douche.
slyvanilla_creme 0
a complete stranger just upped and said that to you? wow...some people have to learn that if they have nothing nice to say, they really shouldn't say anything at all....i would have told him to take the log out of his own eye before judging me...
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Comments (55)
SadSaggySinglGay 0
I love what #11 & #18 have to say, but no doubt that guy would have been wearing the tea
gofriars 0
Wait, do you now work at the Taco Bell I go to? I called you ma'am at the speakerbox and you asked how fast I had taken my Mustang and gave me the sauce packets that said "Will you marry me?" haha
laceyanneman 7
What was the point of that?...
Fml37 0
You should have snuffed him right there.
hephaestion2 0
I'd just like to add to his comment; cosidering you use words like "uppity" and "gall" that havent been used since the 50's
cactusdesu 15
On the contrary, I use words like that all the time, and I'm not from the 1950s.
0592635 0
douche..
Jman1906 2
You should have said "Well you are about to never have another Girl Friend." And punched him in the nuts so hard he became sterile.
Mr_Resetti 0
You should have "accidentally" spilled it on him.
jdkfgkjdfb 0
Should've splashed him in the face.
Sipos 0
Hope you poured it into his lap.
eastbaydad 0
Well someone has to be fat and somene has to do ditches...you serve ice tea an I **** hot bitches...don't be jealous tubby, just be yourself
frenchyhater 0
more like you **** ugly ass trannies you fat ******* pervert. stuck in college years much