Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML
Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML
Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her cleavage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML
Today, while tucking my toddler in bed and telling her I love her, she responded with, "And I love your bouncy castle belly!" I know I'm overweight, but I didn't think I was that fat. FML
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Top comments
Zoa_fml 0
Your little cousin said '****'?
Nakedsquirrel 5
Tell your cousin she's got the family genes and won't have any better.
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Comments (108)
ArtGirl87 0
Further proof that kids are hellspawn.
hpodity 0
Waaa sauce at #22 Whingeing about being fat happens like every day on this site, it's not an fml cos its their own fault for eating too many pies. I'm outraged that the majority of the world lives in poverty and these douchebags are complaining, actually complaining that they're so fat from eating so much food.
chunkofchange 0
i agree with #24. its annoying as hell
effevery1slife 0
ur kid cousin said ****? kinda hard to believe...
Jaywin 3
#24 for the motherfuckin' win!
jacklol 0
lol@24 PLZ DO NOT EAT THINK ABOUT THE AFRICANS
Kiebland 0
#24 Then why are you on the internet? Poor people don't have the internet. WAIT! Why are you alive? PEOPLE HAVE DIED ALL THE TIME!
yuggi1 11
Internet is not as beneficial as a bowl of cereal. Dying won't help others at all, but you know what does? Giving some of your food to homeless people instead of munching it all down your throat like a rotting pig. lol
hpodity 0
@ #29 I'm on the internet taking a break from studying physics at McGill so that I can become a teacher and help break the cycle of poverty.
yuggi1 11
Teaching won't help, bud. It's the economy- haven't you read the newspapers? The jobless rate is increasing, thus, poverty is increasing as well. And that's just America! I doubt you would go from country to country teaching kids who only speak waka-waka (erm... for lack of better imagination).
burdenofaday 0
Small **** are okay. Can I have your number?
babyjoyce 0
ahahah. nice kid. ._.