Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML
Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML
Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year-old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year-old woman, to tears. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her cleavage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML
Today, while tucking my toddler in bed and telling her I love her, she responded with, "And I love your bouncy castle belly!" I know I'm overweight, but I didn't think I was that fat. FML
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Top comments
Zoa_fml 0
Your little cousin said '****'?
Nakedsquirrel 5
Tell your cousin she's got the family genes and won't have any better.
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Comments (108)
GrapefruitZoe 0
Why are kids saying "****"? That's coarse and pretty rude!
hpodity 0
well 61, you've sussed me, I was planning on teaching children special relativity but I guess that's a bad idea after all... Everyone needs a good grounding in science, maths and english, but **** me if I'm going to major in english or psychology or education.. Physics happens to be one of the most employable degrees nowadays and it's certainly the subject I'm most interested in, of course I'm not going to be teaching kids about string-theory or quantum mechanics, but a physics degree will provide me with an excellent grounding in science and math which I can then impart to children in developing nations. I'm not saying my degree is going to solve world hunger but it's going to help foster a generation which understands enough of the tenets of mathematics, science and English to give them a better start in their adult life so that they will be in a more stable position when they themselves become parents. Doesn't anyone find it ridiculous that people are starving in other countries and we live in a society where 2/3 of the population has actual health conditions from eating too much!? Diabetes and heart problems do not usually affect such a large proportion of the population, the only reason they do is because people are so greedy that they don't care if they hurt themselves or others just so long as they get that last slice of cake. And the worst part is the complaining, the whining and whingeing: "Oh it's so hard" "Oh I hate my body" "It's glandular" Bullshit, it's not hard to stay in shape, you're just too lazy to care about yourself, and glandular disorders which result in obesity account for a minuscule portion of the fat population. If these people are looking for sympathy they can go somewhere else, like I said, there's no reason for anyone to respect someone that doesn't respect themself.
anita_applebum 0
how old is ur kid cousin? ...**** is not a word for a young kid to say...
HahahaThatsFunny 0
I don't really believe a kid would say that .. But if she did GO HER !! LMAO !!
RDMC20 0
if thats what you look like, why are you "feeling pretty good about yourself"?
Vivelle 0
Lols! Haha! Kids say **** O_O? D= I'd expect boobies o.o or boobcakes ! XD lol. Erm! You shoulda given him a smack on the back of his head and said "Bad kiddo!" XD :O I'd say "Don't make you shove you btw em!" Jk xD
angelslayer 0
what a **** and flat chested woman you must be. i feel sorry for the kid for having to stare at your fat ass. "Today, my cousin was wearing a bikini and looked like a fat ****. I had to hang with her all day." FML!!!!
applejacks 0
your cousin wasnt probaly serious and if she was serious dont listen to her if you feel good about your self thats all that matters.
obviousxo 0
lmao #7 wtf? thank you for your monologue. #65
AnnaSeptic 0
24 is lame, 50 is even lamer for not realizing that whinge is actually a word.