Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
Today, I reached down to pet an elderly man's dog. It jumped up and utterly mauled my face, drawing blood. As I gasped in shock and pain, the man said, "Careful, he likes to scratch." FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML
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Top comments
ChibiChibi_fml 28
If you are aware of the fact that your dog is over protective and reacts badly to things then why would you let it be in the room with the two of you while you are doing such stuff? I'd say next time lock him in another room, or lock yourselves in another room, either way the three of you should not all be in the same room.
Mylifeskool 0
no one make him bleed his own blood.
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Comments (108)
gress269 4
Dog Dad!!!
rygorg 3
You dog people always seem so surprised that your beloved pet might mean someone harm. You have a ******* animal in your house. You should expect this from time to time.
YUMMYFRENCHFRIES 16
I bet it was a German Shepard. Mine used to walk around, guarding the house ALL night.… D:
Ayena 5
i should wear my glasses more often because i read "he died" and i was like %@*@&@?!!
bleedingglitter 24
I had a cat that used to attack boys that came to my front porch to see if I was home. My mom thought it was hilarious, the boys not so much...