Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML
Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML
Today, after seeing a cute girl on the bus, I tried to look cool by flipping my hair, only to smack the side of my head into the bus window. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a large woman with what seemed like the flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it, and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML
Today, I was stuck on a bus for an hour with a wasp buzzing around. I have a severe phobia of wasps. I was crying by time I reached my destination. FML
Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML
Today, as I was about to get onto the bus, my bus pass fell out of my hands. Being in a rush, I barely picked it up from the street not having a good grasp of it, just to have it fall again as I was about to swipe it. It felt like the whole bus was staring at me. FML
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Top comments
lokang 0
What a bitch~! she hit ur palm with her face... Does it still hurt??
DocBastard 40
Lies! Just admit that you slapped her for stealing your seat in the first place.
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Comments (105)
hateevryone 15
I can't stand flies.
johnson1995 4
thats when you look at her in all seriousness and say, I apologize, I have severe tourettes :S
Here4theshow 17
More like FML to the woman, how embarrassing!
Guren 0
"..straight in the path of my hand." I'm going to start using that too
butterflyz1961 2
At least it wasn't her ass.
worldclassrager 41
Apparently you were (unintentionally) bugged by that woman