Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML
Today, I had a date with a guy I’ve known casually for a few weeks. Everything was OK, until he asked me to come back to his place because he had something “to share with me.” Apparently, he’s double jointed, because his mouth reaches below his waist. He even finished. FML
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
Today, after months of dating, I finally saw my boyfriend naked. Turns out he has a micropenis. I assured him that I like him for who he was and that we could explore other things. He said no, because oral and sex toys are "immoral." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. When I was getting dressed afterwards with him sitting next to me, there was a silence. To break it, he grabbed my hand and fistbumped me. FML
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML
Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML
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Top comments
baxeh 29
He shouldve asked before showing you his tiny penis. What a lovely unsatisfying relationship that couldve been
HyperTek 16
Two words. Second, date.
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Comments (76)
Jachin357 28
Oh wow that's classy. This guy took the romantic dick pic to a whole new level!
Goblin182 27
At least he let you know what you were getting into before you made the decision. Truth in advertising. I would say that was pretty considerate of him.
Seabass_Chan 33
More like what he was hoping would get into her...
nykkiyo16 13
Not that he actually could. XD
confused_wandere 26
So what? It's only a penis. People make far too big of a deal out of sex, it's literally only sex.
allie2590 31
Sex is important in a relationship for most people.
Bodhi1124 5
well I just found the twelve year old
confused_wandere 26
#27 I'm not 12, I'm actually 21. I just don't see the big deal when it comes to sex.
Misscreant 7
We found the guy with the micropenis.
Birdie27 11
then you're not having the right kind of sex
MrGarrett26 11
I agree.. if she liked him before that then she should like him after. she wasn't attracted to his penis.
Dale_shackleford 13
No, whipping it out on the second date is a red flag that he's probably got some sexual issues. Add to the fact that regular intercourse and kids are probably off the table due to his condition.
Zelda9678 11
Wow. I can't believe you guys. "omg they have different opinion than us, they must be twelve, or stupid, or have a micro-penis!" That is completely ridiculous, and immature. I for one partly hate sex for this very reason. Everyone's super obsessed with it, and is one of their top priorities. And if you don't like it or aren't as good-looking as other people's standards, you've "obviously" got something wrong with you.
OhPuhleeze 23
ahhh, one of the ladies who just want to be with a big dick. Doesn't matter what other qualities the guy has like compassion, wit, health, education, love for you... Perhaps the only remedy for a micropenis would have been a couple of billion dollars in his account which you could've splurged. Please don't bring up being prim and proper on a second date, you both got handsy.
yerawizardlizzy 27
How funny that your username is exactly what I said after reading your comment.
captain_hero89 22
his game level is over 9000!
SaraWinterHeart 15
Perhaps he felt his micro penis was a perfect match for your micro breasts?
MrGarrett26 11
yes! :D
Bearsmomma 30
I don't understand the appeal to boob sex. It certainly does nothing for me, and I don't see why it does anything for a man. I just don't get it. (I know it wasn't your point, but still)
zinnish 11
The issue for me isn't the size of his penis. It's the fact that before he revealed his big (or little) secret, I would expect to be absolutely blown away by some serious foreplay. That way the gauge of his tool would be less important because he was proving to be able to still satisfy me.
KrDizzy 16
Showing you his willy on the 2nd date? Micro penis or not, that'd be enough for me to not consider a 3rd date. But on the bright side, at least you dodged a bullet..
species4872 20
Apparently she dodged a blank.
SomeRandomUser 19
Now, that's confidence.
KazikPalec 9
So if he had had a big one, it wouldn't have been a FML. Otherwise you would not have mentioned about his "size" right?