Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML
Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
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Top comments
Blahp 0
Well, be more careful? Sorry though.
ThankYhuCaptinOb 0
sorry it must of hurt but really I'm sorry I chose YDI becuase you have a great imagination but cooking .... you nee to be more careful lol
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Comments (95)
campbellshayla73 0
try slicing it wit a sarasded blade while cutting a bagel & then u can bitch cuz I am retarded
dopebaby420 0
don't quit yr day job.o
My2864 1
been there done that i work in a restaurant myself.. although i must say i almost never cut myself.. i burn myself alot though
baseballbeast12 0
I did that about a week ago, but it was my middle finger so I held it up cause it hurt and realized I've been given the finger for the last hour
steveakafranxy 7
YDI for doing that without knowing how to do it safely
thenatekiid 7
I don't think chefs on the food network slice their thumbs...
insomniac8400 13
safety...safety first, then teamwork
WaywardDaughter 26
I have done the same thing. It sucks but pretending your a famous cook makes cooking alone more fun IMO.
beaglegal 42
Red sauce!
heatherrr17 19
You could video tape yourself and make youtube vids