Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
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Top comments
jackwilliams 9
I love it when stereotypical gender roles get reversed
NebulaNick 12
Fire back
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Comments (143)
thejonac 21
at least you have a humourous girlfriend, OP
Pixiemels 19
Very Ladylike!
Nimor 25
Are you sure she's an actual GIRLfriend? :)
Joe_Flair 8
marry that woman!
xKai_Axelx 12
please dump her
QueenSaru 28
For what? Not being embarrassed by a natural bodily function?
GunSlinger69 19
Call me crazy, 51, #50 actually has a point. If the genders were reversed, I bet most of these people would be calling the guy disgusting, and probably some people would say dump him. But if a girl does it, it's funny.. That's just what I have found with FML..
QueenSaru 28
*shrug* That may be so, but it doesn't seem like a dump-worthy offense in my opinion--and it wouldn't even if the OP was female and her boyfriend did it to her.
squideth 18
64 they literally don't, and if anyone ever does, they're thumbed down into oblivion.
vlalam 24
Seems ur relationship went to next level.. congrats!
darryaz 9
You need to either dump or marry her. I'm not sure which.
Kageyoshi_fml 13
You better put a ring on that quick cause she is a keeper
pete9913 23
All I can say is hahaha. She's just paying back all the guys for the Dutch ovens.
doumtabarnack 12
That woman is awesome
GunSlinger69 19
Awesome, you mean disgusting?
thefallen12 13
Nope awesome :)