Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
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Top comments
jackwilliams 9
I love it when stereotypical gender roles get reversed
NebulaNick 12
Fire back
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Comments (143)
_kyleG_ 34
Weeeell, at least she's comfortable with you
SEROKE 13
That stinks.
milehigh52 22
This could be a good or bad thing depending on how long you two have been together.
ehllychan 10
If you have been together long enough to be in the same bed, you've been together long enough to smell their farts.
Jasim 17
I didn't know girls fart!
Steffi 26
Girls don't, OP's "girlfriend" is secretly a boy.
Mightytall 35
It's a ruse... They hold the farts in so they don't fart in public, but man are they ripe if they ever let them out....
cheeeksss 29
We shit too.
mike762414 6
Max, you're a lying asshole
Erebus_Terror 12
#28: oh no you di'int!
sstahpp 33
I fart daily.
False_Stupidity 42
That's an open declaration of war if ever there was one. Commence operation flatulence! Fire up the dutch ovens and launch all SBD's!
HardRock_fml 6
awww, she knows you love her for her beauty but she wants to make sure you love what's inside, too.
dylanhasemann 9
Well that's unFARTunate...
AshleeDanielle_ 11
That's love.
Enslaved 38
Which hair were you sniffing?
LiNdSaY2 5
Lmao!
Mightytall 35
Girl farts are the worst!