Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
Today, I did my work, the work of my co-worker who called in sick and the work of my boss who has no idea what the hell is going on all at the same time. I didn't get a promotion because I don't work hard enough. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, my manager did that thing where he gave me a performance-based bonus last month, but deducted the bonus from this months pay. He didn’t even try to hide it, it said in plain English "Amount deducted for previous performance bonus." FML
Today, I had to give a presentation on how we can improve our department metrics to a group of dumb executives who keep confusing and mixing up IT departments. Our department is doing great, the problem is that the executives keep mixing up the departments and blame us for everything. FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML
Today, my boss complained about how his performance bonus is too small, as he expected it to be the total amount accrued rather than a percentage. He also made the decision to not give any of the employees profit sharing this year, because the company didn't beat the budgeted increase in profits. FML
Today, my boss yelled at me for not being able to fix his computer. I’m not in IT, I wasn’t hired to have anything to do with IT, but he assumes that because I’m the youngest woman in the building and look like a nerd that I’m automatically a computer expert. I don’t even own my own computer at home. FML
Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML
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Top comments
Connect 10
I say you take away his Internet. Just for awhile. He'll come and find you in the hopes you'll be able to help him.
lexa1love 16
Aw OP that is brutal. Maybe print off the job description and lay it on his desk if he really can't figure that out.
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Comments (56)
lexa1love 16
Aw OP that is brutal. Maybe print off the job description and lay it on his desk if he really can't figure that out.
Wowxoxo 17
Even better, stop doing your job for a couple days, let the office run amuck, then work your magic.
Connect 10
I say you take away his Internet. Just for awhile. He'll come and find you in the hopes you'll be able to help him.
N3766 20
Just delete internet explorer's icon from his desktop... (Assuming he's stupid)
oj101 33
No Internet Explorer is actually better than having IE. Anything is better than IE, even if it means nothing. But then again, you'd have to be pretty dumb to use IE these days...
Trogre 6
The best solution!
happle 21
24- Please don't be serious...
interesting33 37
Just don't get fired for it!
EvilUndead 9
24, IE is a system component. Kill the IE completely (not just the icon) and you'll screw up the system. Also, how are you going to download other browser without it?
green2go 14
Isn't that the point
bluevayero 42
obviously that guy has no idea what HEs doing either
EverestMelting 23
I agree with #3. You should totally just **** around with him.
frethelt 3
ya.. if he dosent know what the it manager does i seriously dowt he is anywere near smart enough to figure out you had anything to do with it
EverestMelting 23
Doubt*
HitchHiker42 18
Would someone kindly explain to me why OP deserved it?
dmoran20 27
You must be his boss, or you're at least on the same level he is.
twye 22
Sometimes, people press/click the wrong button. Sometimes, people just want to be asses and vote "you deserve it".
evilplatypus 39
6 - People enjoy clicking YDI for many reasons. Possible reasons for this FML: They were trying to balance out the votes They clicked it by accident They are going for a badge of some kind They think IT people suck They think he should be happy he got anything and should stop complaining They think he should communicate with his boss more They're jealous because they don't get a bonus Etc.
dmoran20 27
This is what I get for commenting after I just wake up. Sorry Hitch, my brain was thinking you were asking why he deserved the bonus.. My apologies :-)
bfsd42 20
Maybe op does a sub par job.
yesyesnonono 10
Have him watch "The I.T. Crowd"
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
That's what I thought of when I read this :D have you tried turning it off and on again?
a1f0sff 25
How can the boss not know the job of someone he hired??
naya_bingi 11
Some companies have a regional hiring manager. Or he could have been hired under a previous management.
capslockisgood 19
Or he could have forgotten.
evilplatypus 39
My boss personally hired me and I just found out a week ago he isn't sure what I do (he was told to hire a certain type of teacher --> I'm that type of teacher).
DocBastard 40
Rearrange his keyboard. When every key he types is wrong, he'll figure out what you do in a hurry.
starcrossddream 14
Better yet switch his keyboard into Arabic or Chinese characters; he will be lost, confused, and unable to email you about his problem.
cgchamp89 7
I'm not sure his boss knows how to use e-mail with a standard English keyboard.
naya_bingi 11
I'd be controlling his computer while he's trying to use it. Open up weird pages as he's trying to type something. Have a "I know what you did last week" run across his screen out of nowhere. Freak him out a little ;)
maddygirl820 10
He's probably just very self-centered and doesn't see the work being done around him OP