Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting on my bike texting when someone snatched my phone and ran. Like an idiot, I jumped off my bike and ran after him. He then ran in a big circle, got on my bike and sped off. FML
Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML
Today, to keep my phone safe while I went on some rides, I took it out of my pocket so I could put it in my bag. Just as I pulled it out, a woman ran into me, knocking my phone to the ground and breaking the screen. FML
Today, as I was taking a walk, I heard a cyclist and so I wanted to move to the other side of the sidewalk for them. It turns out that I walked directly in front of them instead. Nearly scared them to death. FML
Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML
Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
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Top comments
larrena2377 26
I would say call the police, but....
worldclassrager 41
If only bikes had plates to report
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Comments (99)
bombielol 20
chase him down OP! :(
Edumcg 24
How much did it take you to return home without your phone and knowing you were surrounded by posible thieves?
more4me 27
What a jerk !!!! Sorry, OP. That really blows. make sure you change the passwords of all accounts used on the phone (Facebook, email, etc.) Hopefully, most of the data was backed up and you haven't lost too much! I feel for ya :(
tareqateik 4
call the police!!!
Timmeeh 17
On what?
isuckwithnames 22
Pay phone, use someone else's, a store's.
Lomus 24
By the time the police get called, he could be quite a way away. They can't just arrest every cyclist they see.
tareqateik 4
call the police!!!
BoltTheSuperdog 22
And this is why you should be aware of your surroundings!
isuckwithnames 22
He was paying attention, sorta.
LuluRichards 20
What a twat, I would've thrown sticks in his wheels...
91hayek 31
Just when I thought I couldn't dislike cyclists anymore. Oh look at me, I'm on the road acting like a vehicle but I don't even obey the laws of the road so I go up on the sidewalk and act like an entitled ass up there as well. Idiots.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
# 43 That's completely irrelevant. That cycilst went on the sidewalk to steal from OP. No need to generalise to all cyclists, many of them are very careful.
tj4234 36
just to point out, sometimes the pavement is also a cycle lane.
iateapenguin 27
You know, most cyclists do actually obey road laws, at least where I (and the OP) come from. Unfortunately there's a rather obnoxious minority that gets noticed a lot more, making people think that they're a majority. Like asshole drivers, or homophobic religious people. Another thing I've noticed as a cyclist is that drivers seem to have some sick enjoyment in scaring us. Often I’ve had them drive really, really close to the cycle lane or right up next to my bike, (despite having the whole road to drive on) which can be really goddamn scary. I broke my wrist because a car drove so close I instinctively swerved into the curb. TL;DR assholes are everywhere :(
DanielleinDC 34
Where I live, a lot of assholes ride their bicycles on the sidewalk simply because they are assholes. I have seen people ride bicycles on narrow sidewalks even when there is a bike lane. I have no doubt this was an opportunistic crime, but it cements my view of bike riders as assholes. I don't give these gits much leeway when they're zooming at full speed near me. And now I know to keep my phone in my purse and hold tightly to the straps whenever I see them.
tj4234 36
#54. I know that feeling. I once got run off the road on a bike by some asshole in a 4x4 with a trailer. He never bothered to pull out to give me room and hit my handlebars. I'd have reported him but it's difficult to read a numberplate that is moving away from you at 60mph whilst you are upside down on the ground xD.
Lomus 24
Here in the UK, it's actually about 1% of cyclists that don't obey road laws, along with about 30% of drivers (at least). The only law cyclists ever break is riding on pavements (when they are legally vehicles), but that seems relatively excusable seeing as how people at the wheels of tonne-and-a-half deathtraps trying to run you off the road. One thing I have noticed actually, is that generally speaking, you can tell which cyclists will obey road laws or act sensibly by whether or not they wear helmets. That tends to work as a general rule of thumb. In a world where world class cyclists such as Bradley Wiggins (Tour de France winner) get hit by cars, you can't exactly blame everyone else for riding where it's much safer. Arseholes are everywhere, so stop generalising.
isuckwithnames 22
Where I live, cops are assholes to cyclists. I saw a guy get a ticket for riding in the road, then he got one for riding on the side walk, and finally he got one for trespassing as he got off both the road and sidewalk.
Mrtigerblue 14
#65 that's equally horrible and hilarious
Lomus 24
How can they give him a ticket for riding on the road? Unless it was clearly specified as a non-cyclist road or a motorway or something.
tareqateik 4
h
Attacksloth 33
Take a picture of the bi... wait a second. In hindsight you could have yelled something ridiculous like "THAT MAN ON THE BIKE IS CARRYING A BOMB". That would have caused either the Batman or some other nameless vigilante to tackle him. Then when he's on the ground in pain you say "nevermind... it was just a phone"
XTheDesertSongX 17
Did you start crying uncontrollably while your girlfriend ran after him?