Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
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Top comments
MeTheBeast 22
Well at least you got the spider! Right?
uglytwin 15
You've got a good arm! Try out for baseball.
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Comments (76)
chocolatelover96 14
A completely normal reaction, OP. I was sitting on my bed, sipping a coffee one day, just watching YouTube videos, when I noticed a large spider crawling up my arm. Coffee and the laptop both got thrown as I made my panicked escape.
marcranger 29
I don't know, OP, your reaction seems a bit, oh, what's the word...restrained to me. I probably would've thrown the book out the window, jumped out the window myself, and only come back once I possessed a locked and loaded flamethrower.
sadistmonkey 19
At least you were calm and rational.
oathkeeper99 31
Oh god, just imagining this made me shudder... I hate spiders so much.
PsychicBulwark 4
UK doesn't even have dangerous spiders.
dirty_dan_ 15
That sounds like something my best friend would do
TheNewGuy03 29
Definitely calm and totally normal
zyero 9
Ironically spiders don't **** with me like that, my father hates them. Now if it was a roach that would be a different story, something about an insect that doesn't die when you step on it creeps me the **** out. It's like a scorpion, step on the little ****** and they bounce back like a damn squeaky toy
Calingaladha 21
But spiders and scorpions are both arachnids :P
pete9913 23
I would mark YDI, but I'm terrified of spiders too. I'd have done the same thing. FYL OP
Isamermaid 17
Once I saw a leg come around my pillow. I thought it was a spider. Sat up, turned on the light. It was actually a 5-inch long centipede. I'm not even worried about spiders anymore.
TheNewGuy03 29
Christ on a skateboard.
marcranger 29
I apologize if the price of coffee goes up on a global scale. It'll be because I bought all of the existing supply, having decided that I am never going to sleep again.
TheNewGuy03 29
I'm gonna add this: consider yourself lucky. If it's part of the Scolopendra genus, it is most likely very venomous, so it's a very good thing you noticed it before it did what it was going to do...