Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was rushing to get my 4 month-old daughter out of the car because I had diarrhea and need to get to a toilet ASAP. In the process of leaning in the backseat to grab her car seat, I smacked my head on the door hard and almost knocked myself out. Now I have a giant knot on my forehead. FML
Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML
Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML
Today, while driving home, a jeep hit the back of my car. When I got home and told my boyfriend, he acted concerned but still wanted to know what was for dinner. I think I have whiplash, can't stop shaking from the shock and he's practically already waiting at the dinner table. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML
Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML
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Top comments
Jarvo_666 6
Chaaarrrlieeee...
kaywalovestoflip 7
At least you're awesome enough to be called a unicorn.
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Comments (178)
kaywalovestoflip 7
At least you're awesome enough to be called a unicorn.
Buttsexpirate 9
Now buck him in the face.
somerandomdude19 2
Yeaaa at least ur not wart head
fthislyfe 22
Who's the father of the baby anyway?
kevin7474 0
Your head is 20% cooler now.
Damn_Hippster 11
At least he doesn't call you a narwal
thisisafunnyname 12
make sure voldemort doesnt drink your blood
EvilPotato 15
33 Can't tell off really stupid or trying to troll... did you even read the FML, it doesn't mention anything about a baby. Please try again.
fadingfaith 4
Did you read the fml? It clearly says "baby unicorn".
bubble25_fml 5
108, you are such a hypocrite...
Laners561769 9
Point at his manhood and say the same thing.
Uscdrew1 7
Dear Princess Celestia...
Llama_Face89 34
60- They're the Jedi of the sea, they stop Cthulu eating ye.
darien987 1
........
Georgieeporgiee 9
At least your a baby unicorn! You could of bin a big mumma unicorn!
Jarvo_666 6
Chaaarrrlieeee...
Petronix 5
Make sure you still have your kidney... Oh and don't take directions from dragons.
burtonbullet 10
A magical leoplurodon! It's here to show us the way, to candy mountain!
Izzi_Swim 0
This FML just made my dY
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Best-Comment-Ever.
LlamaFlavoured 24
Sorry about the accident... But your boyfriend is awesome ;)
aruam365 24
Yeah, because poking her head injury is soooo awesome of him!
RetardedChipmunk 7
No him calling her a unicorn is awesome
aruam365 24
If you think that's awesome, clearly your life is lacking in some way or another... Haha.
Llama_Face89 34
104- Conversely it could mean yours is the life that is lacking.
unhappybitch 8
Poke his dick and yell baby snake!!!
Zoranius 6
I was going to write that! :(
unhappybitch 8
Lol I was going to write baby worm but I changed it to snake lol.
The_Troller 14
I would be offended if someone called mine a baby worm...
grahambertus 11
Careful, it might rear up and spit at her.
lol_ironic_life 9
I just wanted to comment that this is a great comeback! :D I lol'ed, pooh I think I just butchered the English language with lol'ing. :D
cinderz1102 0
That's a bit tight bless you
tylersign 11
Headbut him.
KiddNYC1O 22
Yes, LOL.
shellzy 20
Kick him in the shaft and yell the same thing
emerluvsu 6
Wow! That's quite creative of him!
molly2moon 0
Atleast he isnt calling you a damn pony.
MrSaxMan 0
Ponies dont have horns...
molly2moon 0
I know. That was sarcasm.
superguy101 0
Use your unicorn powers to slice his throat. Then consume not only his flesh but his soul to sustain your unicorn abilities.
Muwahaha_fml 4
Headbut him. Mess with the unicorn and get the horn!