Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML
Today, my door broke. My normally reclusive, antisocial cat, who runs and hides at the slightest noise, decided to come out and get friendly with the maintenance man. Now I owe a huge fee and my rent is increasing for having a pet I’m not supposed to have. FML
Today, when I stepped outside, I found out my neighbors forgot to leash their mean-ass dog when he promptly started charging at me. If not for the black cat who lives outside my house, who I've fed before, jumping in and somehow single-handedly whooping his ass, I'd probably be dead. You don't fuck with stray cats. FML
Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML
Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
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Top comments
Xx_Nikky_xX 4
i tought i taw a putty tat
perdix 31
Of course not, the cat owns you.
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Comments (86)
TheRealLori 0
They can't do that. Your mail carrier is either lazy, or a fraidy cat. You don't have a cat, so it's their problem, not yours!
Thabb 0
The cat is still on that route so they probably wouldn't go whether it was OP's or not.
marinus_fml 20
F the postmans life for being girly enough to be beaten up by a little cat.
MissBunny25 0
I read this ^^^ in the terminator guy's voice... it made me laugh lol
emodude44 0
Awwwwwwwww PUSSY CONTROL! Oh, and your not the only one MissBunny
MissBunny25 0
hahahaha yay. I felt crazy.. maybe I am though 0_0
Jimboom 12
In Plymouth, pussy ***** you!
jordanprodigy023 0
Cats suck they don't do anything except sleep and annoy people. This is why dogs are mans best friend
tashaburr 0
they like to shit too oh wait...we all do that
Skroal_stomper 5
Call Jon and tell him to come get Garfield.
Doortje 30
Your mailman is having hallucinations. You might want to inform his boss about that.
OCDC 9
He wants to see a pussy so bad, he's imagining them everywhere.
zjrsi 0
Do you look like a cat lady? I'm guessing it may be time to get really sexy and go to the post office and talk to the first male mail supervisor you can find. gimme
MissBunny25 0
uhh... wowzaz
lilcc86 0
go buy a bb gun and shoot the cat
luke1998 0
now thats the way to go
mintcar 10
You HAD a cat. The postman killed it with a letter opener.
jordanprodigy023 0
One time I gave a stray cat viagra. When I came back a few hours later the cat came to me an started humping my leg, he then proceeded to come all over my pants. All I can say is lesson learned