Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML
Today, my door broke. My normally reclusive, antisocial cat, who runs and hides at the slightest noise, decided to come out and get friendly with the maintenance man. Now I owe a huge fee and my rent is increasing for having a pet I’m not supposed to have. FML
Today, when I stepped outside, I found out my neighbors forgot to leash their mean-ass dog when he promptly started charging at me. If not for the black cat who lives outside my house, who I've fed before, jumping in and somehow single-handedly whooping his ass, I'd probably be dead. You don't fuck with stray cats. FML
Today, my neighbor let me know that they've been taking care of my cats while I was away, including letting them in and out of my house. I don't own a cat. FML
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML
Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
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Top comments
Xx_Nikky_xX 4
i tought i taw a putty tat
perdix 31
Of course not, the cat owns you.
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Comments (86)
RedPillSucks 33
Call animal control to get the cat. That's what the postman should have done.
bittersweet1 0
that's how my cat is but he doesn't go outside he just attacks everryone who comes in our home
iIixoxiIi 0
is OP your neighbor, by any chance?
bittersweet1 0
if your replying to me (not cool enough to know) nope that'd be funny though. I seen a video online where this cat went out at night and stole things from neighbors like socks and a buncha random shit n bring it back home to its family as gifts :)
bittersweet1 0
if your replying to me (not cool enough to know) nope that'd be funny though. I seen a video online where this cat went out at night and stole things from neighbors like socks and a buncha random shit n briought it back home to its family as gifts :)
WaylonD 4
And I thought Texas cats were tough! Never heard of one attacking a mailman everyday! Maybe he was once a priest, n the cat is just protecting the neighborhood kids.
SnowFlakeInAK 7
A simple solution. Inform the postal company that you do NOT own a cat. Problem solved. YDI for not thinking of that yourself.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
She might have thought about that but that requires the post office to actually believe her when she explains that she doesn't own a cat. They may just assume she's lying just so they'll bring her mail to her.
jewels1877 0
That's one mean pussy.
GoodLookingGeese 10
wow Garfield is true.. I wanna meet him! I will come fixed as a new mailman, just tell me where!!! ;)
mcnally664 5
don't sweat it - should only take you 3 or 4 months to straighten out with the post office
IwuvsYoux3 0
Lmfao ! xD , that's a good story to tell your lids AND cat owners ahahaa. Good luck with your mail problem ;)
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Lids have enough to deal with without having to listen to the OP ramble on about her troubles with the post office. They do all the work of keeping things fresh but it's always the bowl that gets the credit.