Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in line at Chipotle behind the guy ordering for his entire office. FML
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML
Today, I was at a new restaurant when I went to the restroom. When I was done, I sat back down at the table, and idly started listening to my friends chatting. After a few seconds, I realized I'd sat at the wrong table, with complete strangers, who were too polite and/or bemused to say anything. FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, while I was working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML
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Top comments
drgnsf8 0
not an fml. why do people get grossed out when girls talk about the same shit guys do.
kerrygirl 13
and this is a fml because??? were u like automatically going to get with her since u sat at the next table???
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Comments (103)
Punkartmama 0
That's what you get for eating McDonalds owned Mexican food. F anyones Life for eating there!
sbt8387 0
Chipotle is NOT owned by McD's. It is a chain, not a franchise.
CJ090 0
EPIC WIN
Flymeister 3
Just tell them to buy chipoltlaway from Billy Mays
warriorcatsfan24 0
how is this an fml? i would have been lmao!!!
idkweird 0
Im sure this will get negative votes, but Ive never understood the compulsion to talk about your gross bodily functions. I don't do it. I think it's inappropriate. It seriously just grosses me out. I hate it just as much when guys talk about it as when girls talk about it. Luckily my boyfriend has never found it fun, either. We can easily go through life not describing to each other our latest trip to the bathroom! Usually, if someone starts to describe or begins a conversation about it, I just say, "Eww, thanks, but I don't need to know. Keep it to yourself." That may be uptight, but really, you're discussing consistency and texture of poop. That's kind of gross. To me, at least.
ginwl 0
I completely agree. I know that bodily functions are natural and normal etc. but I would never, ever bring up the subject- and get seriously uncomfortable if others do. I also find it inappropriate and really quite disgusting.
idkweird 0
pendatic, absolutely. Luckily, most of my job is just reading the charts/notes and all that, but I will admit to gagging. Especially when theyre providing pictures of nasty infected ulcers or cysts. When I worked in the children's hospital in San Diego, the surgeons always provided far more details than they needed to....down to the consistency of the pus they were expressing from the patient. This is why I chose coding over nursing! Less schooling, comperable pay, same chances for travel, and no patient care!
SallySweet 0
You should have told them to pick up some Chipotleway.
Mike_H0ck 1
I dont think ive ever heard a conversation inside chipotle that didnt involve diarrhea. What else would people talk about in that place?
Sekococo 0
#16 lmao
alexFYL 11
Sometimes my girl friends and I will talk about obnoxious, perverse, offensive or disgusting things if we want someone nearby to get the **** away from us. :)
alexFYL 11
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