Today, I shared an elevator alone with an attractive co-worker. On our way up, she let out a loud, noxious rip. She covered her nose and mouth while giving me an accusing look, as I said with a straight face, "Excuse you." Later, I received a note from HR for harassment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Today, an attractive coworker complimented my cologne in the elevator, so naturally I tried to respond smoothly. Instead of saying, “Thanks, it’s new” I somehow combined two thoughts and blurted out, “Thanks, I’m sweating.” We rode the remaining twelve floors in intense silence. FML
Today, I was in a packed elevator when I heard a loud noise. I assumed someone had farted, so I tried to discreetly turn around and hold my breath. To my horror, the loud noise was actually the elevator malfunctioning and dropping a few floors. I made it even more awkward by holding my breath, and the guy next to me asked, “You good?” FML
Today, I got into an elevator with a stranger. The silence was so awkward that I muttered, “Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show.” The stranger just stared at me until the doors opened. We work on the same floor. FML
Today, I saw a woman struggling to hold the elevator. Trying to be helpful, I jumped forward and pressed the “close doors” button, thinking it was “open doors.” The doors shut right in her face. I had to awkwardly ride up ten floors in silence with three witnesses. FML
Today, I was stuck in an elevator with my workplace crush for 10 minutes. Trying to break the silence, I nervously said, “I’ve always thought you were amazing.” She smiled and whispered, “I thought you were the new maintenance guy.” I work in marketing. FML
Today, I was in an elevator with a bunch of people in suits. It was so quiet, I tried to break the ice by joking, “So… who farted?” The doors opened immediately and everyone walked out without a word. I was left alone in my own shame. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
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Top comments
user53658 15
Her personality is clearly a lot less attractive than her looks... Seriously, what kind of person would damage someone's career to cover up her own fart.
Inkoseh 33
Make sure you go to HR and refute it, claiming she was harassing you for trapping you in an elevator and being rude! Honestly though, make sure you let HR know exactly what happened and how she did nothing except look at you to blame. You used manners, she took it wrong. Document EVERYTHING like this with HR, because all it takes is a disgruntled person to get back at you later, and now the situation is written down.
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Comments (18)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Fun fact: This is the exact topic Steven Tyler wanted to put into a song, but the record label deemed it too crass, and insisted the song be re-written, hence "Love in an Elevator".
user53658 15
Her personality is clearly a lot less attractive than her looks... Seriously, what kind of person would damage someone's career to cover up her own fart.
chosha_fml 27
A fart no-one except him knew about. That is some weird bitchy behaviour.
interesting33 37
love the Harry Potter reference username
ThrottleJockey 36
She let out just a little of her inner essence by accident.
RichardPencil 32
You needn’t have spoken up, Captain Obvious, 100% of the riders in that elevator knew who farted. You still find her attractive?
bibobobonnor 8
What? Because somebody farts you expect them to be found less attractive? Everybody farts.
Inkoseh 33
Make sure you go to HR and refute it, claiming she was harassing you for trapping you in an elevator and being rude! Honestly though, make sure you let HR know exactly what happened and how she did nothing except look at you to blame. You used manners, she took it wrong. Document EVERYTHING like this with HR, because all it takes is a disgruntled person to get back at you later, and now the situation is written down.
Charlie Given 28
Wow, that's some stank shit I'd go to HR and report the narcissistic bitch about letting out her inner demon and how it affects your office morale 😂😂 and not to mention that in many places around the world that farting in enclosed area is insulting and even assault, remember revenge is best served Rancid 🤣🤣🤣
Davros 12
time to start secretly recording all talks with her.
Donut_Wizard 23
Ventriloquist farts: the power to blame others for your own flatulence.
chris_lillo 15
I would definitely make sure HR knows your side of the story. Your Co worker seems a little unstable