Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a packed elevator when I heard a loud noise. I assumed someone had farted, so I tried to discreetly turn around and hold my breath. To my horror, the loud noise was actually the elevator malfunctioning and dropping a few floors. I made it even more awkward by holding my breath, and the guy next to me asked, “You good?” FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, I was in an elevator with a bunch of people in suits. It was so quiet, I tried to break the ice by joking, “So… who farted?” The doors opened immediately and everyone walked out without a word. I was left alone in my own shame. FML
Today, I was in an elevator going up to the 32nd floor when I felt the urge to let out a fart. Feeling like it was either fart now or have appendicitis, and that it would be quiet, I thought no one would notice. It wasn't silent. It was loud and proud, and the cute girl next to me started laughing uncontrollably. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I shared an elevator alone with an attractive co-worker. On our way up, she let out a loud, noxious rip. She covered her nose and mouth while giving me an accusing look, as I said with a straight face, "Excuse you." Later, I received a note from HR for harassment. FML
Today, I had a wet fart with liquid in my underwear that I could smell. I let the one guy in front of me take the elevator so he wouldn't smell me. When the next empty elevator showed up, seven people started lining up behind me. FML
Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML
Today, the guy who got off when the elevator's doors opened had a very embarrassed look on his face. I didn't think anything of it till the doors closed. Turns out he was running away from his deadly fart. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
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Top comments
PrickHead 0
could of been worse... could of shit ur pants...
ryrywakaka 0
LOL you should sniff it all up . take it for the team
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Comments (307)
Pigpen181 3
Was "anal leakage" involved?
hellokat1 0
Why do you want to know?
lonewolf6613 4
yes... shhh! don't tell anyone! :)
lonewolf6613 4
that comment was meant for 11 :( stupid iPod! >:(
hellokat1 0
Mine was meant for 11 too
lonewolf6613 4
YAY! I'm not alone! :) welcome to the dark side. sorry but I ate all the cookies :(
hellokat1 0
Hey! What's going on here? Now it's in the right place? *confused*
lonewolf6613 4
what the heck?! it's not so bad being confused. remember the first step is admitting it :)
lonewolf6613 4
WTF?! it's wrong again! HULK ANGRY!!!! >:(
hellokat1 0
They're totally mind ******* us!
lonewolf6613 4
oh no! not again! waaahhhh! (runs away crying) :)
GeneralGreivous3 0
You never know if OP does still have his job. And don't worry lonewolf I still have some Darkside cookies! :)
lonewolf6613 4
oh I ate those when u weren't looking :) I is sneaky. lol :)
GeneralGreivous3 0
I wonder if Darth_Naru is on... and no you did not steal cookies from General Grievous
lonewolf6613 4
*gasp!* you have a secret stash! darn you! :)
GeneralGreivous3 0
Yes I do indeed have a secret stash.
lonewolf6613 4
I think I shall sit in a corner and cry while eating imaginary darkside cookies. :( hey they taste pretty good! :)
Darth_Naru 0
I see my name mentioned. And why eat fake ones when you can renew your Darkside pass to get another?
lonewolf6613 4
omg u can do that?! I now have a reason to go on living! :)
Darth_Naru 0
Oh yes just go up to one of the head siths and ask to renew your pass. They do it, and at the end they smile like a pedo and ask if you want a cookie.
GeneralGreivous3 0
Oh hey Naru! Well best thing to do in that situation is to accept the cookie.
lonewolf6613 4
oh wow that guy was creepy! I kicked him in his "cookies" and stole the real cookies YUMMY! :)
Darth_Naru 0
Good job. Now you have an angry sith lord after you and your Darkside pass denied. No more cookies.
sabrinahusic 0
The dark side never runs out of cookies. :P
sheethapins 13
Thumb down topic :D
tjsomethin 9
Hey guys I just came back from the dark side. They lied about the cookies
SwaggerMelon 6
There has not been one comment on this thread with positive thumbs
lonewolf6613 4
I don't need the pass to get cookies. I stole the recipe :)
Taurusbaybe 8
Stop with the cookie talk, please. Thank you.
emmiep1011 7
I only have to ask. why?
dreamering 16
Too much beans?
Darth_Naru 0
Do you need to have a reason to fart?
kai_ngo 0
I didn't know you had to have a reason to fart.
Darth_Naru 0
85 that is what I just said
kai_ngo 0
touché
chuck1986 0
ya but he needs one for not holding it
emmiep1011 7
I'm not questioning his reason for farting but why he couldn't wait 2 minutes until he was off the elevator. chill out people.
BloodyMary97 4
u can't easily control farts. if y could noone would fart in public.
Mish44 3
lol
hellokat1 0
Should have stayed away from the can of beans last night.
hamster_10 2
should have clenched really
brooooks 0
loool that is an FML , you should check your diet ..
agSWAAAAG 0
if you're implying that an unhealthy diet causes smelly gas you might wanna rethink your theory. ever heard of that nutritious food called beans???
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I used to share a very small office with a vegetarian health nut, aka "the Salad Shooter." Trust me, it isn't just Taco Bell that'll mess you up...
brooooks 0
COOL STORRY! who said she ate beans ?
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Kashi cereals. A few hours after eating them, your ass will turn into a leaf blower.
ShelbyyCakess 0
there are some things that are better left held in.
Rangant 7
shrek disagrees
ibitehard 9
I was gonna say that! good job...
rbubbles 20
bask in the ambience haha
indistructo 3
that blows...
XxMaseratiGurlxX 1
thats pretty gross.. good job. you should hold it in next time
sharkwkrox 0
this is pretty hilarious.