Today, I was hosting a pool party, when my husband and his friends got the bright idea of lighting one of the party balloons on fire. Needless to say, it immediately exploded. In shock, he jumped back straight into me, sending me and my $400 cell phone splashing into the pool. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML
Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML
Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML
Today, at a wild party, I cracked open a few glowsticks and drew patterns on my face and arms with the glowing liquid, then started dancing, hoping to impress some hotties. I was tearing it up until my skin started to burn, really bad. I ended up running out screaming and calling 911. FML
Today, I almost burned down my speakers. How, you ask? Well, some asshole at the party (I was the DJ) decided to trip me as I walked to the stage, causing me to knock my speakers into the pool. FML
Today, I tried doing a backflip off the diving board into our hotel's swimming pool. Instead, I flopped into the pool so hard it sounded like a cannonball, and now my stomach is bright red. My friends will probably bring this up for the rest of our holiday. FML
Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML
Today, I decided I would finally get up and weed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decided to jump in the pool, with all my clothes on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my BlackBerry started to ring from my pocket... FML
Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML
Today, I found out what my husband meant when he said he "accidentally installed an indoor pool" last night. FML
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Top comments
emilieee_fml 0
Thats a smart man right there!!
Midrash 5
He is a keeper
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Comments (238)
Chucknorris1463 0
well your kinda dumb too to just stay behind them and watch like a retard seriously come if somebody has a bad idea you step away dont stay close to him
lovey04 4
All you people going on about the iPhone only being 200 bucks you do realise that that is the price you pay upfront and by the time your plan is over you have paid over a thousand dollars all up.
soricel 1
Yeah, but if you're only replacing the phone, the phone itself still only cost $200. If you need a replacement phone, you're only paying for the phone. No need to change your plan. so either the OP sucks at math, is lying, or bought their phone at a ridiculously overpriced rate.
bfabb 0
He's a keeper.
astarazhna 1
It's more fun when the balloons are filled with hydrogen.
kinglygeneralj 0
Ha that's why I don't like rich people
xTexasLonghorn1 0
what cell phone is 400?
SlenderMan_fml 6
52- win
painkiller3666 4
Botch every cell phone now a days costs $400, you're not special
c0urtn33yxo 0
You deserved it. Who needs a 400 dollar phone
C0N71NG3NCY 6
You forgot to add "...that my parents bought me for my 16th birthday."