Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
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Top comments
RichHurtz 0
Someone taps you so you roundhouse kick them? What are you, an idiot?
rw4rf1s 0
FLAWLESS VICTORY
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Comments (197)
jdb2009 0
What a dipshit. You deserved that one. You deserve for her to embarrass you by dumping your stupid ass in front of everyone after you apologize to her.
emptyego 0
lmfao @ #10. I agree, who DOES that?? Hopefully you didn't hurt her too badly!
Kashi13 0
#92 thats funny but the chuck norris jokes arent, so many of you guys used them already
0 3
You're a winner OP!
Zic_fml 7
Chuck, nice job!
ILIEKGIRLS 5
CHUCK NORRIS STYLE
omfg_Jackie 0
shouldn't you have looked before you did it? ASSHOLE!
reggiecide0 0
Sounds fake. I mean, why the hell would you roundhouse kick your own friend? Unless you're a real dick. Roundhouse kicking your own friend is like slapping your own mom.
revezone 0
chuck is that you? (very unoriginal madd people already said it but **** them its the first thing that came to mind.)
Sgt_Schadenfreud 0
Douche.