Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML
Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML
Today, I was working at a shoe store and was helping a dude try on shoes. He looked like trouble and I wanted to finish with him. When he finally picked his shoes, he abruptly stood up and ran out of the store with the shoes on. The cost of them was deducted from my salary. $240. FML
Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML
Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML
Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML
Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML
Today, I went to get new shoes. I'm a pretty tall girl and I have proportional feet. I asked the cute guy who worked there for a size 9.5. He burst into laughter before putting on a shocked face and saying, "Oh wait... You're serious." Goodbye, self esteem. FML
Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight-hour shift. FML
Today, while trying on clothes in Macy's, someone decided to throw some shoes over the wall and into my changing stall. I now have a black eye. FML
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Top comments
Vasir 2
Well maybe you shouldnt be so racist with your shoes and shit.
Darkon 0
You got your but kicked by an old man...LOL! Just aim for the hip next time takes them down no problem.
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Comments (184)
PlasmaVirus 4
Well, the old dude sure wants his brown shoes.
Koolgirl15 0
Wtf? Thts freaking hilarious
sharkwkrox 0
...Uhm...
lynkynpark86 7
You're lucky. When people are that annoying, I wish they would attack on camera so I can beat the shit, and possibly life, out of them legally.
jesbar95 10
Shoulda shit on a white pair and rubbed it on his face.
Optomisticpencil 7
I'd have called the cops and pressed charges for assault. Don't matter that he's old, he still broke the law.
blink_kid 32
By far the funniest FML I've ever read.
Baller_Bob 17
Time to get him committed
fantasyworld 39
Why are people saying this is funny? It's assault.
FweakofCydonia 40
I could easily picture this as a skit from the Simpsons, but instead OP is Bart and the other guy as Homer.