Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML
Today, while having sex with the guy I have seen for about 3 years, he answered the phone. I found out that he had a girlfriend while he was inside me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML
Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML
Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML
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Top comments
emo_devon 11
aw man I am SO sorry OP. He's just a cuntmonkey (lame ass insult but it probably fits him.) I hate how ppl are expected to all look slim. You probably aren't even fat at all. God, most ppl tell me I'm not fat, and my dad likes to keep calling me fat. He's just jking, or so he says, and he doesn't even realize how his "jking around" isn't even funny. It just makes me feel bad about myself. Even if you ARE a bit bigger than average, OP, I'm sure you're pretty. Skinny doens't automatically=attractive
Vehicle 1
YDI for having sex with someone outside of a good relationship.
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Comments (185)
sammiller4 3
lmfao that's kinda funny
missvee98324 0
LMFAO hilarious stuff.
mattman1994 0
Just return the favor. Not that difficult. "That's okay, I have another 2-incher meeting me around that time too"
icraziie 0
1 nice picture I can see down your shirt *stares*
omfgrofl1337 0
first comment, watch out for a van with no windows, 12 has his eyes on you
iTaylor 0
12 you creeper. and that really funny op but fyl
NuyoRicanGirl 3
LMAO =) but that sucks op maybe hit the gym at least you got some from a Hot guy lol
nessimonster 0
lol funny but suxz too b op
Alphreak 0
#9 LOL Yu always have the best answers :P
Mumbellosity711 0
hey, the bigger the better
That_Guy_Jake_JR 0
Agree with 27. 12 shut the **** up. You too 38, it's called private messages. Why is it that only people without pictures seem to flirt with people in the comments section? Insecure fail =/
deeroy87 0
Flirting on FML is shit anyway, it doesn't even make sense... So stop being poofs and go to a club or somethin to get muff... "Amateurs"
WhyTheFace4 0
Just be glad that you got some. With how fat I'm thinking you are I bet it's been awhile and is going to be until you get some again.
cutiepie31296 0
man i would have punched him in the balls
iTaylor 0
I'm diggin' the shades 42 lol
FailVader 0
YDI for having sex out of a relationship and expecting the guy to give a shit about you and then complaining about it. OP I hope you punched that womanizing piece of shit.
seanders 10
48 is presenting
iTaylor 0
presenting?
sexyscooter 0
61 wants me and she knows it ;)
sammiller4 3
12 be glad I'm not around you lol
Thebloodygore 0
63, Sam, is that a threat? :P
sexyscooter 0
hey 63 we should hook up ;)
sammiller4 3
yes it is 64 lol
Thebloodygore 0
Sam, #67 asked you a question. :P
sammiller4 3
that wasn't a ques that was a statement lol :p
mfmylifesrsly 30
wow what did you expect you had sex with a random guy. ****. or maybe not a **** but you def have no morals and ***** don't either.
tsc32 2
lol I'm loving all these moderated comments.
mustardcat 1
I'm in bc I'll finish the job for him, maybe u aren't so thin either haa ;)
chelliejellie10 0
More cushion for the pushin?
Nolwen_fml 0
ydi for having sex with random hot guys. You clearly didn't know him very much..
BigDaddyCain 0
He's proud of boning multiple fat chicks..? Weird..
skroal 7
What? Fatties need love too, but they gotta pay!
WhyTheFace4 0
Who else but Quagmire?
comedychick 1
well you should have said I have a better looking guy waiting for in 5 :)
skroal 7
Giggity giggity giggity giggity let's have sex!
KiwiLime 0
chubby player.
Blink182ftw 0
looool
benny2465 0
ydi for being out of the kitchen in the first place
kayvan 8
and for wearing shoes. You deserve it for straying out of the kitchen and wearing shoes. Make me a sammich.
redoxy_fml 0
Lol! Another fat girl using FML? Never!
EmmyGrangerDC 0
#9 good one
jintin 0
he. is working hard doing overtime with fat chick lmao
piinkbunnii 1
I know this is very random, but 6666 people said "they agree, you're life sucks!"
TheOptimist 0
C'mon OP, be creative. Your fat, just sit on him.
owneditup 0
136 i no this is random but 2797 ppl said i agree ur life suks... u fail
comatoast 0
someone's going hoggin'!!
ImaBmyLonurTees 0
ROFL yes that's hysterical
acccccccc 1
Comment moderated.
skylar314 0
That is horrible op sorry for ur loss
heynow00wellthen 0
I'm assuming this was meant for a different FML?
johnnyexpl0sion 0
Yeah I think it was meant for the fml about the person's grandma passing away and no one from their family calling to notify them.
A_Khalifa 0
no this woman is fat herself she ccouldnt make fun of op cus then people would just fireback at her picture
beelovesfml 0
74 STFU stop hating
JokingJoe 0
i like 74s answer. fat woman always standing up for eachother with so much pride. but theres nothing to be proud about.
justbemellow 0
Nobody died
shybear15 0
I know this is really late but 74 just cuz somebody has some meat on their bones does not make them fat >:0
Missy612 14
No one died.
kayydb7 14
I agree!
cmonbru 0
Ydi for being fat and Ugly
cmonbru 0
Ydi for being fat and Ugly
Vehicle 1
YDI for having sex with someone outside of a good relationship.
TheWicked 4
lol wtf, welcome to the 21st century retard.
singer4life666 0
21 just because you're a ***** doesn't mean everyone else is.
FailVader 0
Sadly, TheWicked is right. if this keeps up, we're all gonna die.
Taipan_fml 0
More like you shouldn't complain about stuff like this happening if you're going to sleep with people outside a relationship.
illmatic2 16
Agree with 8.
sexyscooter 0
mee too. 8 is right.
lemoncows 2
so they are retarded for having morals? glad to know what this world has come to.
Rico255 0
at least u didn't get sloppy 2nds, or was there another fat chick before u??
HaxivX 0
he likes fat chicks??
FailVader 0
Horny bastard nowadays usually go for fat chicks because they are more likely to have sex because of their low self esteem.
sdman923 0
well, looks like you need to hit the gym a little bit.
mattman1994 0
well said. Dr. Phil/The Incredible Hulk
rottentomatoes 7
FAT ASS THREESOMEE
iceebush 0
Amazing idea dear sir
yankkeeboy123 5
Haha