Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML
Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that same moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart loose, and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML
Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
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Top comments
Jaxro 6
And why was your dog's ass in your face? You would think it would be facing you, maybe licking your face.
Kimienxtc 0
Awww Your dog loves you! :)
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Comments (119)
duchesse427 0
lol, i'm sorry but that was hilarious. and like someone else said, at least he got you to think about something else
BEB131 0
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA
abu3mair 0
hahahahahaha... HILARIOUS! usually the stories are stupid but this one is awesome. turns out your dog didnt want to console you, he wanted a litter box.
conorlawlz 0
Lmao at the thought of you thinking your dog loves you when it has its asshole in your face.
Kiwiwi_fml 0
YDI for letting the dog lay with you... with his ass in your face. o.o
utinaeniduin 0
this is such bullshit. if you had his ass in your face i'm sure that a fart wouldn't be that surprising to you. fml lies are unimpressive.
amazingapril 0
hahahahahhaha (: that is the funniest thing ive ever heard/
ichigolyn 6
Awww... kinda sad, but I LOLed..
egypt_fml 0
Wait, lmfao.. but why was the dog's butt by your face? I'm guessing you were laying on the couch and the dog was either just sitting by your face or laying down next to you, his head facing your feet and his butt facing your head, lol. This FML is cute in a weird.. way. Just the dog consoling part, not the fart.
FMLGod911 0
Dude your dog is your only friend dude that sucks