Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
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Top comments
stupidpplsuck 33
That's probably because you go through your daughters phone. No sympathy from me Voldy.
neeni88 23
Could it simply be because you lack a nose and not due to your "evil" ways as a Mom? If it's any consolation, if your kids hate you, you must be doing something right!
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Comments (209)
amifaiyaz 12
ydi for being so invasive.
souljacker 11
With that kind of invasion of privacy, are you ******* surprised? Really?
DarkStorm2Bad 14
You know, you CAN be a responsible parent and discipline your child WITHOUT invading her privacy. Just sayin'.
Ermahgerd 4
Voldemort you cannot be, as you are being quite NOSY about your daughters buisness!
Fedezzer 20
Apparently she knows exactly what she's on about. I'd call you nosey but that'd hurt more than intended, eh Voldy?
ppmichaelh 9
No body deserves that
caralee42 9
I have my mum's ringtone set to sing "Voldemort" to the tune of Lollypop (Potter Puppet Pals) when she texts me. She is a harry potter fan as well though
baref00tmama 15
Why were you going through her phone? Need clarification there; either you're really nosy or she's an untrustworthy sneak. But honestly, if you can't trust her enough to be responsible with her cell phone, just take the damn thing away already!
emptychairs 4
Why are you snooping...?
fresh247 10
who would want a normal name as a contact anyways