Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year-old man who only spoke Spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and I'd politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML
Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML
Today, I got fired from my job. I caught a customer taking pictures up my skirt, and my boss fired me for calling the police and "making a big deal out of it". FML
Today, I got fired from my job at a library for hitting an old man with a book. In my defence, I had asked him about a massive water stain on a book he'd returned. He told me it was his cum, wanted to know if it excited me and then tried to touch my boobs. Dirty old pervert. FML
Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML
Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
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Top comments
_Noon_ 0
FYL. How can they even believe that? :S
CDS09 0
This should be easy to disprove...push him for details, when it was, etc, he will probably slip up.
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Comments (64)
SaphireScorpion 0
Are all of you people completely ignorant? 16 years is the minimum age you must be to get your NLS (National Lifeguard Service) award, and that course can only be taken once you've completed Bronze Medallion and Bronze Cross. You must also have your Emergency and Standard First Aid, and CPR-C courses. The minimum amount of training to complete these courses is 120 hours, and you must already have been a strong swimmer beforehand. Lifeguards know how to deal with many medical emergencies, such as heart attacks, strokes, seizures, broken bones (including compound fractures), dislocations, sprains, strains, asthma attackes, hyperventilation, major bleeding, collapsed lungs, and open pneumothorax, not just pulling struggling kids out of the water. Young people have fast reaction times and with the level of training lifeguards have, they are much less likely to freeze up in emergency situations than the average person. I am not just a lifeguard, I am also certified to teach and examine (award certifications) for all the courses I mentioned except NLS because I have been in the field for 7 years. Two of the children that I have taught first aid have gone on to save the lives of family members--and they were both 13 when they did. I know a single mother of three who was very greatful that her life was in her 13 year old's hands--and you're doubting a 16 year old? Another of my students saved his 11 year old brother's life. Just because you were a total retard at 16 doesn't mean there aren't plenty of teenagers that actually do something with themselves. I know there are other certifications systems in the US but in Commonwealth countries the way I described is the only way to become a lifeguard.
livexlaughxlove1 0
I live in Ohio and you don't even have to be sixteen.
theLuscious 2
write a book
Peacemonger 0
You are aware, of course, that the Spanish word for 'to bother' or 'to annoy' is 'molestar', which doesn't have anything to do with sexual assault. The guy probably was trying to tell your employers that you generally 'pissed him off' and they didn't quite take it the right way.
livexlaughxlove1 0
and she may not have known that since she never said she took Spanish....
xkat356 0
Huh. Good point, I completely forgot that.
DameGreyWulf 1
Hah! That is a very good point, actually. I remember giggling about it like an immature idiot when I was in Spanish class, too. But still... how could they even possibly assume a 16 year old girl could molest a 30 year old man?
f0rg3t_m3_n0t 0
Cartman: Just call the police and tell them your parents are molestering you.
Mikey_Mayhem 0
oh god, do you have nothing better to do than to spew every line that cartman ever said and plaster it on FML... seriously FYL you probly live in the basement
sublime93 0
Its better than that queerbag that replies with lyrics
DanizzleXFoSho 6
I loled hardcore at this. Idc if you're 50 and live in your basement. "Moltestering" kills me.
rockyhorrorshow 0
I guess the lives of lifeguards are completely ******. Every other FML on here has to do with a lifeguard, it seems. Hmm...
canadiangirl007 0
Being a lifeguard is hard! You get hit on by the most disgusting people and than when you tell them to buzz off they become the worst people in the whole pool!
danielrp34 7
Wellll, why did you molest him in the first place?
iShine 0
The guy might have just been saying that she was annoying him and they thought he said molesting. In Spanish "molestar" means to bother.
samandpackers 0
Hmmmm... this is true
nikkiandyou 0
Maybe in spanish, Molest, means something else?
bean_dawg 0
i think 26 and 31 are right. "molestar" in spanish means "to bother"
jetku 0
sucks. I'm sorry. And I believe your story.
plexico 4
Are you sure your Spanish is good enough that you rejected him politely? Are you sure you didn't call his mother a "puta" by mistake? Wouldn't other people have noticed you in the men's locker room? How dainty is Senor Slimy that it could be credible that a 16-year-old girl could threaten him? Do you think your boss had other complaints about you?